besotted. ☤ joshler [DISCONTINUED]

cinco!

as i sit crying into my hands outside of cocksucker, i hear the door open and close. i don't bother looking up until i here a familiar voice sigh and sit next to me.

"tyler! listen, you don't understand. brendon was all over me, and i don't want anything to do with him."

"yeah? so then why were you all up on him?!" i shout, clearly getting annoyed with josh.

we both stand up and argue for a few more minutes, until he gets a smug look on his face.

"if you're straight, then why do you care so much? why are you freaking out?" he asks me and i trap my plump, pink, bottom lip in between my teeth.

i sit back down and sigh.

"ya know what? i don't. it's none of my business! go back and have fun with brendon."

"no, tyler. you do care!"

"no! go do whatever you want!"

"you want me to do whatever i want?"

"i don't care!"

"then i'll do whatever i want!"

i get up close to his face and yell, "screw off!" and before i know it, his lips are attached to mine and i'm frozen.

i cant move, but this isn't right! he's a boy, and i'm a boy! thats not what god wanted.

i pull away quickly, sitting back down and let out a soft sigh. josh sits down too.

"look, i'm not supposed to like you," i mutter.

"what do you mean?" josh asks.

"i-i'm supposed to like girls! supposed to play basketball and live a normal life! i'm not supposed to wanna do that again."

josh leans in but i pull away before our lips meet again, and think for a second.

it can't be the end of the world. he told me to have fun tonight.

i lean in and kiss him again, smiling widely into it and finally feel at peace with myself.

🎀

the whole ride back to true direction, i'm cuddled up into josh's arms.

we keep getting nasty stares from brendon, but i don't really care. i'm just happy that i agreed to come!

i really, really like josh and i hope this all works out.

hi this is kind of just a filler also cocksucker is the name of the gay club in the actual movie and i find that fuckin iconic