Surviving His Royal Highnass, Prince Ashton

Chapter Eight: Second Thoughts

"I'm afraid that I made a very grave mistake. Will you please guide me back to my destination?" I asked him.

"Of course, your highness, but are you even sure of your destination yet?"

I was shocked by his question. This might be my very last chance to null the events of today, to return home, to be free from Ashton. But the fact that I let go of a hundred chances before this one made me wonder if one more simply served as a distraction from my fate, simply prolonging the devastation that was bound to happen regardless of my ultimate decision.

"Please take me to my husband." I responded with new resolve.

He nodded, and led me back to his horse. He hoisted me up considering how I was nearly immobile in my awful wedding dress.

"I am William by the way, Sir if you prefer titles. I suppose you can consider me your knight in shining armor!" He laughed at his own joke, "Thankfully, I was out doing rounds. I don't even want to imagine what may have happened otherwise. There have been some grisly cases of roadside robberies recently." He explained.

"Thank you, I will be indebted to your valor. I... I'm simply at a loss right now. My whole life has been thrown into a maze, one with no end that pleases me. I don't know which way to go."

Silence followed.

"Forgive me for saying that. You're a mere stranger, it was rude of me to share my troubles with you." I apologized.

Twice already I have put myself in circumstances that necessitate my apology to someone beneath my ranks due to my own uncouth behavior. The future did not look bright.

"No, it's no trouble at all. I was thinking, if there's no end that you like, then why don't you make a new path that leads to a more favorable one?"

I looked at him as if he was crazy.

"That's improper." I stated.

"Since when does propriety matter anymore, even amongst royals? In my grandfather's time, knights weren't even allowed to interact with someone of your status, but look at how friendly we are now. If it's for your happiness, then do it." He rebutted, surprising me with his informal language once more.

"It matters when you're expected to carry the weight of the kingdom on your shoulders. I can't stumble."

He laughed.

"You're making a simple solution much too complicated, princess." He smirked.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"How so?"

"It's obvious you care about your own happiness, so stop worrying about satisfying others. Those who really care about you will accept your decision as long as it makes you happy. But I'm not telling you to abandon ship yet. It's only been... let's see... a few hours since you two tied the knot? Give it a month. If he still drives you mad, then leave him."

I nodded my head, deep in thought. Sir William made very fair points, but very progressive points at that. Regardless of how open he was to simplifying situations in that manner, I knew the rest of the kingdom would take decades to catch up to his thoughts. They were well beyond his time.

Ashton's POV

I couldn't eat. I sat at the massive dining table, by myself. Servants were waiting on either side of me. I'm sure they had many questions regarding the absence of my wife, but not one had the audacity to ask. The food remained untouched.

"Your highness, the food is getting cold." One of the servants stated.

I shot him a nasty look. Sighing, I rose up and slammed my chair in, making the whole table shake. I turned and abruptly headed to my quarters.

"None of you will dare follow me." I commanded.

I soaked in the beautiful architecture of the grounds during my leisurely walk through the corridors. This castle was gifted to me on my fifteenth birthday by my father, to commemorate our first hunting trip together. From then on, we visited these grounds for hunts every season. I didn't give it much value then, but this really was a lovely space. Worry still nagged at me from a corner, preventing me from fully appreciating one of the most personal relics that my father left behind. Why was she so complicated? I reached my room and threw myself onto the bed, forcing myself to sleep and forget about today's atrocious events. But I couldn't. The image of her crying was nearly branded on my mind. Was she okay? I peered out the window. It was pitch black outside. What if something bad happened? I expected her to return one way or another, despite making a scene - as usual. Perhaps she actually made it back home? I groaned out of frustration. She didn't even have to be around to drive me insane.

Ever since we were young, I grew jealous of everyone she laughed with and talked to. She never emitted that warmth when I interacted with her. In fact, she barely ever exchanged words with me as a child. Being a prince made me accustomed to the fact that everyone catered to my desires. Everyone wanted nothing more than my satisfaction, and they went to any lengths to fulfill it. Except her. That bothered me to no end. So, I did what I could to capture her attention, regardless of how low I had to stoop for it. I started tormenting her with pranks and jokes, simply to make her notice me. I wanted her to be aware of my existence every day, in some way or manner, just as everyone else had. I thought it was a brilliant idea. Eventually, I triggered emotions out of her during my abusive interactions, but I still never got that smile. She never gave me the emotions I desired. She gave me fear, tears, and frowns. I grew frustrated, so did my family with my actions. As a rebel, I continued acting that way despite everyone's protests. She might've hated me, but at least she still acknowledged me.

This hate-hate relationship spiraled out of control quicker than I could stop my rudimentary behavior. That's what landed us in this mess now.

I thought back to the near past, the day my mother told me that I was to marry her. It was the same day my father's death was announced. She didn't give me much of a choice in the matter and, oddly enough, I didn't mind. For better or worse, my thoughts were already occupied with her sloppy entrance into the great room that morning. She looked a mess, but still beautiful nonetheless. Her haphazard hair framed her dainty face perfectly, even with the brush sticking out of it. The stains on her nightgown didn't distract from her ravishing curves. Most of all, the concern that lined her divine features left me breathless. 

It's really in times of hardship, during your darkest hour, that your true allies will emerge from the shadows. Anyone will join you when the sun shines upon your success, but few will share the burden of your sorrows. We used to pride ourselves in our extravagant social circle, the sheer support we had gave us a false sense of security. However, on that day, I realized who truly cared about us. 

Other than Evelyn, not a single person budged from their high horse to comfort us after they received the announcement. They did, as expected, show up in droves to the funeral- after everything was said and done, after we had wiped our own eyes of our tears. 

Although I didn't express it at the time, her sheer adoration for us meant the world to me. That judgment was clouded by my utter distaste for the rules, for the proclamation that insisted I absolutely had to get married in order to take my rightful seat on the throne. Her lack of eagerness to join me put me off, too. Everything felt too forced.

None of that had to do with her, though. She is innocent in all of this.

If I was flippantly infatuated with her before, then I seriously admired her now. 

I groaned once more, more so at my own stupidity than anything else. I immediately sprang up. I need to run after her, to find her. It might be too late, but I didn't care. I need to start making amends. I need to shake myself out of this false personality.

After all, she is my wife now.