Sanky Panky Pirate BOOK PREVIEW

Pickup Line 1: Avaste me beauty! Prepare to be boarded!

She looked just like an angel but was more like a devil in disguise. The reality was that I could easily win and kick my brother’s ass. But there was only one problem. I was actually a great big softy. Totally misunderstood by the world. Sure, I got into fights all the time and beat the shit out of people on a daily basis but this was my brother, people!

“Blanca?” My brother’s attention was drawn to the woman on the bed, “Are you alright?”

Blanca wrapped her arms around her bare chest and gave my brother a frightened look, tears filling her eyes expertly. “Santiago…Thank God…He!”

Santiago reached his hand out to cup Blanca’s cheek. I watched in disbelief as she pressed her cheek into his hand and gave him a relieved look. What an actress! “Don’t worry, my sweet. Just let me handle this.” Santiago told her and Blanca nodded. He patted her head and returned his attention back to me.

I gawked at Blanca. “What the hell is this?” I turned to face my brother with a slightly confused look on my face. Oi! Since when was I the villain of this story? I mean really – Blanca was the one who had been seducing me not the other way around, dammit! “What’s going on?” I groused, beginning to get frustrated.

“I will protect my lady’s honor.” Santiago declared pointing his cutlass at me. “I am the Lady Blanca’s fiancé!”

“Fiancé?!” I gaped at my brother in shock, “No way…” I sent Blanca an accusing stare. How dare that vixen try to seduce me when she was engaged with my brother. Even though I liked sex…I wouldn’t have betrayed my brother for just another piece of ass however nice.

“You will pay for dishonoring my fiancé, Machete!” Santiago lunged at me.

“Hey, no one’s ‘dishonored’ anyone yet. You interrupted us remember?” I shot back as I was forced to dodge out of the way of my brother’s sword. Shit. “Oi! That was close! That could have hurt! Crap. Can’t we discuss this? This is all just a big misunderstanding…that woman…she…!” I was saying.

Santiago let out a heavy sigh. “Idiot. That’s because I was trying to hurt you, kill you rather. And discuss this?” Santiago drawled as he swung his cutlass and nearly beheaded me once again and took a few more hairs in the attack. “Since when were you one for conversation Machete? No, you’re a man of actions, of fists and of blows. So that’s how we’ll communicate!”

I watched as several more locks of my hair fell to the ground. Dammit. This was going to make it harder for me to be a Sanky Panky with the awful haircut I now had. I was unarmed and my brother was out for blood…

I spotted my machete out of the corner of my eye and lunged for it. I picked it up just in the nick of time as I turned and blocked a forward jab from my brother’s cutlass.

My brother didn’t stop there, however, and kept on swinging his cutlass relentlessly at me while I blocked. Sparks flew up into the air and I saw them reflected beautifully in Blanca’s silver-blue eyes…

I really didn’t want to hurt my brother though and so was only blocking his blows half-heartedly. It was probably because of this that he managed to disarm me-

I watched as my machete went flying up into the air and landed on the floor. I saw the triumphant look on my brother’s face. He thought he had already won. But I wasn’t the same Machete my brother knew from ten years ago. I took a deep breath and got into a fighting stance. “Have it your way, let’s communicate hermano!” I agreed.

[MACHETE VS SANTIAGO] FIGHT!

Santiago raised an eyebrow at my strange fighting stance and was probably wondering what I was up to.