MARIONETTE. ( ONE SHOTS )

Bits and Pieces → Kainora

BITS AND PIECES
[Kainora]

She had fallen in love with the idea of permanence. It left her in bits and pieces.

NOTES: unedited, most of it doesn't make sense so, this is my first time dipping my fingers in the pool of kainora, so stick with me please, it's fairly brief, AU— future

JINORA GREW UP READING TALES WOVEN WITH ROMANCE— brave knights and strong princes, happily ever afters, first loves turned forever loves. She hadn't such expectations for the real world, not even at such a young age, but Kai was close.

Looking back, she remembers their adventures first. Sneaking out to fly over Republic City at night. Kai's tragic mistake of asking Meelo for advice on their first, proper date. Her being taller than him for a while. Her telling him about her days in the fog of lost souls and him telling her about his early life. Crying and moving on. Getting their tattoos. Him sweeping her his in arms when she told him the good news. Closing her eyes and allowing him to engulf her, love her the way she loved him.

But if she spends too much time in the past, tears form in her eyes because Jinora remembers the details, too. His goof of a smile, the mischievous glint in his eyes when they chased bison. The determined furrow of his eyebrows when she corrected his stance. His hand around her for the first time— safe, strong, there.

His fingers feel the same now, years later — rough and solid. But it feels like she's grasping at thin air, something that just isn't there anymore.

And she knows this isn't like the last time. Last time there was no drifting, no half-lit smiles and no grasping at nothing. There was only her. She needed to know, to understand who she was without him. They had started dating so young, he had been such a stand still figure in her life, she barely knew what it meant to live without him anymore. Last time, months passed through autumn and into winter, but she came back. Everything fell into place once more, everything felt the way it was supposed to be.

This isn't like the last time, this is real. There's a rift between them now. A whole canyon of valleys and rivers and trees and obstacles. An ocean of sharks and other animals with pointy teeth. She notes every inch between them.

She smiles around him more than ever now, just to see him smile back. Maybe then, she thinks it'll be okay. Some days he does, she sees the inkling of the goofy smile she once saw in excess. It's not true now. She hasn't seen him truly smile in months. He's only growing further, and faster. And she realises quickly that no matter how much she wishes it isn't true, Kai is impossibly far away.

( It has always been temporary to Kai— even if it felt permanent for the longest while. Even if he believed it was. He knows everything is only temporary. Life is fleeting, and he doesn't know if he can watch another person he cares for be dragged through the dirt. What he knows is what it's like to be stabbed in the back by someone he thought a friend. He knows it's better to leave then to be left. He has told her all of this in passing. She knows it's selfish to think these rules don't apply to her, to think that perhaps he should be looking out for her, too. )

She vividly remembers having to reassure him that they won't tire of him, kick him out on the streets in a heartbeat the way he feared. Doubts and mishaps later, she still thinks time's running smoothly. It is rare that Jinora is wrong— this is one of the times she'd give anything to be right.

The feeling that she's losing him snakes under her skin every so often, and she can feel her spirit teetering on the edge of brokenness. It's Korra who notices, and Mako. She can't help but think that she won't be able to stop her hands from shaking when her eyes fall upon the empty seat at the dinner table for the time.

(He's leaving her in bits and pieces.)

It's nights like this that frighten her the most. She awakens to an empty bed, untouched for hours as far as she can tell. Panic surges through her veins. Her mind wracks through a number of scenarios, many of which tear at her heart, and she feels a desperate need to run. But she spots the silhouette by the open window, and a voice, a voice far younger than she'd grown used to hearing, echoes softly throughout the room.

"I never stay in one place for long, Jinora," Kai tells her. It's hazy, as if a dream.

Of course, she thinks. He doesn't know what to do but run. Jinora can feel her heart break.

None of this is his. This house, this garden, this island are singular possessions he doesn't take to be his own anymore. This life doesn't belong to him the way it does to her or Ikki or Meelo. They are his brief, fleeting moment of permanence. These words are her warning. There is nothing she can do to stop this.

She only hopes he cannot make out her devastation in the faint glow of the moon, nor the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes as she exhales. She has no word left, they have lost their way in her throat, choked and drowned in the brambles of memories. The thought of Kai.

She had kept bolts in the ground, and she had fallen in love with the idea of permanence. The permanence she loved was meant to be free. It left her in bits and pieces.

.