monsters || the walking dead - negan

XIII

❝how didnt i realize sooner how beautiful she actually is.❞

♾

Negan had gone away for his business; which left Alicia alone for some time to think. He had said he loves her; which meant Alicia had won him over. She could play the cards now. She knew she didn't want to leave anymore, she wanted her and craved for him and him only. 

A tiny voice in her head said about all the horrible things he had done to her and her group. What about those abhorrent things? Could she really forgive him, and just be with him? Just like that.

Alicia was growing frustrated about the whole situation. Because one part of her wanted to be with him; in his embrace and another one wanted to destroy him from the inside and then the outside.

She was beyond confused as what to do, the whole thing was complicated; but her thoughts were interrupted as she heard a knock on the door, Negan had told her not to open it no matter what; but she found herself slowly walking towards the door as the knocking got louder.

She opened the door, revealing Colin who sweetly smiled at the sight of her. It had been a few days since the two had seen each other, and the sight of her gave him hope of escaping.

"What are you doing here?" Colin quickly came in, closing the door behind him as he ignored her question.

"Colin, what the hell?" She asked looking at him. "You can't be here.."

Colin shrugged his shoulders, looking at her. "Just wanted to see you." The way she looked at him, he almost fell to his knees. He had completely fell for her, and she had no idea. He wanted to protect her, take her away from here to somewhere where it would be safe forever.

Alicia sighed pinching the bridge of her nose a habit she got from Rick. "Negan will be back soon, you need to leave. Now." His ideas of a sweet life with her were interrupted. Colin frowned taking a step forward, closer to Alicia. "Why are you thinking about Negan huh? What happened?"

Alicia looked at him, she knew bad things would happen, she knew she couldn't tell him. Colin shook his head now looking at her expression on her face.

"You did not.."

Alicia took a step forward, reaching for his shoulder, but he shook her hand off. "You did, didn't you?"

She almost had tears welled up in her eyes, seeing his face hurt her more than she imagined. But she wanted him safe and Negan can't know that the two once kissed. Colin walked to the door, he was hurt. "You're his now, you know that? Do you know what you've gotten yourself into?"

He really wanted to believe that he could save her from him. That she felt the same day as he did. At that moment, Colins world had fallen apart.

Alicia looked at his back as he opened the door, walking outside; slamming the door behind him.

She gripped tightly on her hair, she was more than frustrated at the moment. Negan would be back soon, who knows what can happen after he said he loves her.

Will things ever be the same?

She didn't have an answer to that, she didn't know how he would act. She was still disgusted, that he had his wives, she knew she couldn't be with him because of that, also because of Rick. She couldn't betray her family, she couldn't betray Daryl.

She breathed out. "Oh god, Daryl.." She sighed wiping her tears trying to calm down as the door opened, revealing Negan.

He placed Lucille leaning against the wall, as Alicia kept looking at his every movement. He didn't look at her or say anything as he placed his jacket on a chair.

"Tiring day." He muttered, walking to Alicia as he wrapped his arms on her waist.

Alicia looked at him as he placed his head on the crook of her neck, as she ran her fingers through his hair. He started to kiss her neck, she was about to let him continue until she realized. She wasn't sure about this. 

Alicia quickly pulled away from his embrace, leaving Negan dumbfounded. "What is it?"

Alicia looked at him, he was really handsome. He had soft features, his eyes were soft, his sharp jawline. "I can't do this Negan.."

Negan frowned, before raising his brows. "I don't think I heard you, speak up."

Alicia sighed, "You heard me. I can't do this, knowing you have wives, knowing that they'll always be there."

Negan sighed, running his hand on his face. "For what I recall, I did say I love you."

"I.. I bet you say that to them too.." Her voice came out broken and shattered, and Negan had enough.

"Have it that way." With that he took Lucille, not giving her a second look as he walked away from the room, leaving Alicia as she looked at his retreating figure.

She just ruined it, she made it much more worse. "Fuck!" She yelled as she kept kicking at the chairs, until her feet were bleeding.

She sat down on the end of the bed, burying her face on her hands as she slowly drifted to sleep, the tears flowing down her cheeks. She wanted to change him. She wanted him to be a man who cares, to make him feel emotions. But as quick as the thought came into her head she shook it off. All the actions he had committed, spoke otherwise. She couldn't change him, or so she thought.

All she wanted was to run away, run away from the world to escape under ground so she wouldn't have to deal with walkers nor people.

But the worst thing in this world was that the walkers weren't the threat. It was the corrupted and damaged people. You should be afraid of the people not the dead.

Alicia slowly opened her eyes, peeking from the corner of her eye, as she saw Negan swinging Lucille down on a chair she kicked at.

He was drunk, everytime they fought he would go and get drunk, and then this would happen.

But somehow this time it was a bit different.

Alicia continued to listen to the whacking as Negan yelled.

And what he said next surprised her a big time.

"I killed them all for you!"

whack

"Bashing their brains in."

whack

"All of that; FOR YOU!"

whack

"And you give me nothing except that bullshit!"

whack

He walked to the bed caressing her face. "I killed my wives just for you." As he looked down at her bloody feet he shook his head. Alicia frowned looking at him as she sat up slowly. He had just said something unforgettable, and she couldn't believe what she just heard. 

"Just what did you do?"