monsters || the walking dead - negan

IX

❝right know, i know i cant let go. but i know soon enough i will wish i did❞

❅

ALICIA

I sat down on the passenger seat, waiting for Negan. I couldn't believe that after this week, I was being patient with him, so I could finally get home, but now here we are. Me going back to the Sanctuary. Rick and others had worked so hard, only for them to be disappointed. The decision of not letting me back home, had hurt them so much. All the work, gone to waste.

I heard the door open from my right, as I turned my head only to see Negan climbing inside the car, closing the door behind him. I looked back to the window, seeing the other saviors trucks, going past us, but we didn't move at all. The view of the woods stayed perfectly still.

I turned to him, as he looked outside the window, his hand on his chin. Raising my eyebrows, I opened my mouth, "Well? Are we fucking going or what?" I spat out as he turned to me, looking at me for a second, before looking back outside. I sighed placing my fingers on my temple, trying not to yell and strangle him right now. Which I would be really pleased to do.

"Negan? You know if you're thinking how to turn on the car, you should turn the god damn key first." I said sarcastically, still looking at him. He didn't look at me, or say anything, making me really frustrated. First he's saying I don't get to be back with my family, and now he's not moving anymore, to anywhere.

"You know what, fine." I said, opening the door, as I stepped out of the car, following the tracks of the saviors trucks. I walked for about five minutes, until I heard a car behind me. I turned my head, not stopping as I saw Negan, the window open. I scoffed, continuing to walk as he sped next to me, slowing the pace.

"Alicia, get in the car." He said, placing his thumb on his temple.

I shook my head, not looking at that lying asshole. "Fuck off Negan."

"Alicia, get in the fucking car, right now." He raised his voice a bit, which made me stop, as I circled around the car, opening the door, as I stepped in, and slamming the door rather harshly behind me. I crossed my arms, not sharing a look towards him. "See, princess that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Like I said, fuck off." I said, looking outside the window, seeing the green nature, which was ruined when I saw some walkers, just walking, their skin rotting away. Every time I look at walkers, I just can't believe how many people we have lost to those things. Andrea, T-Dog, Hershel, Dale..

But it reminds me, that people are just as worse as walkers. Right now, people would do anything to survive, and oh boy, we have witnessed that too. Terminus, is a great example of it. OR the hospital where Beth was in. I sighed closing my eyes, trying to get some sleep, trying to get a runaway from this horrible world.

"Daryl, these people can we trust them?" I asked him, looking at him as he glanced at me.

"I think we'll be fine.. If Merle doesn't do something stupid." I nodded, as I turned around to the camp, trying to get some friends, or at least something like that. "I'm going back.."

I walked and walked, looking at the ground, my hand on the holster where was my knife. Couldn't be too careless. Suddenly a chest was in front of me and I realized I bumped into someone, as I lifted my head, seeing the Asian kid in front of me.

"I -- I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going, and and--" He kept rambling as I smiled to him, waving my hand in the air. "It's okay, it's okay."

He breathed out, looking anywhere but me. "So.."

I laughed, "So."

"You're Alicia, right?" He asked, taking a slight step back, and so did I when I realized, we were pretty close. I nodded, my hand dropping to my side, from the grip on the holster. "And you are..?"

"Glenn, it's uhh.. Nice to meet you?" His sentence came up more as a question, as I smiled at him, "Yeah, nice to meet you too, Glenn."

I opened my eyes, we were still in the car. I glanced towards the driver seat, seeing Negan focused on the road. Which was definitely a good thing, since I had no interest in having a conversation with him.

I leaned my hand on my palm, looking outside the window. I remember the dream exactly how it continued from that. When it happened; we were just acquainted with the group, and I was unsure if they were trustworthy, I mean they could've stabbed us in the back, leaving us in the reach of the walkers but instead they didn't. They trusted us before we the Dixons trusted them.

And I appreciate it, that they still do trust us. Me and Daryl.

"Get out of the car, we're here." Negan's voice brought me back into the real world, as I opened the door, walking slightly behind him.

We walked back inside his room, as he sat down on the chair, taking his leather jacket off, throwing it on the floor. I just passed him and sat down on the couch playing with my fingers, not knowing what to say or if I should even say anything.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" His voice caused me to lift my head, my eyes widening. I did remember, the memories came flooding to my head today. I just didn't want to admit that I did remember, I wanted to blame the alcohol, but I don't know if it was me or the alcohol acting.

"I do." I muttered quietly, looking down at my feet. I was ashamed, that the kiss happened, I hate him. I have to believe that I hate him.

"Good, 'cause it meant nothing. Don't get ahead of your thoughts, kitten." He laughed, placing his hands on the table as he grabbed his jacket putting it on, and walking out of the room; slamming it behind him.

I looked at the door, my thoughts killing me. Had I actually grown to like the man that had killed my family members? The man who was brutal enough, to keep hitting on them when they couldn't even defend themselves. 

"Just hate him Alicia, you can't look for the good in anyone. He ain't good for ya, he ain't.." I kept whispering to myself.

Then something clicked in my head, my dark thoughts consuming me, Negan was and is the man who killed my family members. He will ALWAYS be that man, and he ain't changing. He isn't going to change. He has no good in him, and I have witnessed that.

Suddenly I walked out of the door, going through the hallways, trying to be careful, that I wouldn't make any louder sounds than I already do. I had no idea where my feet would lead me, but I trusted my instinct. 

I stopped in front of a red door, hearing voices behind it.

All I heard was a womans voice, which made me disgusted.

"Negan.."