unrequited | lucaya (completed)

04 | farkle and riley

"i don't know, zay. my stomach isnt feeling well and i don't think my dad would let me out tonight." riley lied as she moved a piece of hair out of her face and walk back and forth in her room.

"you're lying, riley. you are avoiding me. why?" zay rolled his eyes as he spoke into his phone.

"im avoiding you! i-i just don't wanna talk." she hated lying to zay, but if she was being honest. she didn't feel comfortable.

"is this about me not being a virgin thing?" the tone of his voice changed and riley noticed. "honestly, riley, ive only had sex with one person. it isn't even your business."

"i don't know, zay. i just thought that when you and i were ready we would... you know." riley insinuated that they would lose their virginities together.

"what does it matter? i love you and you love me. who cares if i slept with another person before. it doesn't mean i don't want you any less." zay argued.

"what if she's better than me? you have someone to compare against me.. would you admit that she's better than me? you would." riley muttered in a low voice followed by a small sigh.

"why would you think i would- do you really think im like that? that i would compare you to someone else?" zay asked surprised at how riley thought he was. how he would be if they slept together. "wow. thanks, riley."

"i-i.. i know you're not like that!" riley apologized repeatedly. "you kno-"

"whatever, riley. i can't believe you." he scoffed.

"stop. okay? let's go out. we can go see that new movie you wanted to see!" she pleaded her voice cracking a little.

"no. it's fine. something suddenly came up." zay lied. he just didn't wanna be around riley tonight. "uh.. riley if even an ounce of you actually believes that i would compare you to someone else over sex. then maybe we just need a little time apart."

riley felt the tears begin to cloud her vision and she wanted to cry out to him. yet she couldn't.

"zay." she said softly but he said bye and hung up.

riley laid in her bed, her eyes looking up at the ceiling silently counting in her head. trying her best to make her more sleepy. she sighed at the thought of earlier this week. if zay wasn't a virgin that meant that he had sex with someone before. riley didn't know anything about sex, but that it was something intimate between two people.

a small tap on her window, made her looked towards her bay window. farkle motioned for her to come open the window and riley simply unlocked the window then laid back down on the bed.

"what's wrong, riles?" farkle sighed as he crawled through the window that he was still able to fit in even at seventeen years old. he closed the window behind him and laid next to riley.

"i could ask you say same thing, farkley." riley muttered as she closed her eyes for a second then took in a deep breath. "i like zay. i really do but the idea of him making love to someone else. doesn't make me feel good."

"come on, riles. he's not a virgin.. so what? there are plenty of people who had sex in our grade." farkle admitted as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"i know, but i.. i was hoping we would be each others first." riley mumbled as she rolled over onto farkle's chest and he put his arm around her.

"it's okay. he loves you if it wasn't obvious enough. im a hundred percent sure he wouldn't compare you to vanessa." farkle said softly as he traced imaginary circles on riley's skin.

"he had sex with his ex girlfriend?" riley snapped up and farkle frowned at her reaction.

"it's better than a stranger. just stop worrying about it, riles." farkle sighed as he sat up as well. he gave her a small smile and she returned the gesture.

"do you ever wonder how easy our life would be if we got together?" she chuckled half teasing and half serious in her tone.

"oh yeah. if only it could be that easy.. i could never hurt you, riley. if i did then i wouldn't live myself." he admitted as he looked around her room. "isadora and i have broken up and gotten back together several times.. even then i feel like im hurting her."

"why do you guys break up so much?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"we have different views on a lot of things and sometimes it rolls over to our relationship. she might believe this and i think the other way which ends up in us arguing and taking a break for a bit. i love her- i really do, but i hate arguing." he sighed as she ran his left hand through his hair.

"i would never argue with.. you." riley whispered the last word as she looked him in the eyes.

farkle could've sworn he felt his heart stop as he processed what she had said. he unintentionally gripped riley's dark purple bed sheets as he looked into her chocolate brown orbs that seemed to peer into his soul. she looked so beautiful in front of him. it took every fiber of his being not to smash his lips into hers.

"do you want to kiss me?" riley mumbled in an almost whisper as she kept her eyes locked on his.

farkle swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes moved towards her lips, "yes."

"what's stopping you?" she whispered again as he looked back up towards her eyes and inched closer into him. he licked his lips by habit as he leaned in also.

they were so close. their lips only millimeters away from eachother, yet to farkle it felt like they were oceans away. he shut his eyes and cursed under his breath which confused riley.

"i can't." he pulled away from her presence. "a-as much as i want to! i can't."

riley furrowed her eyebrows as he paced back and forth, she bit the bottom of lip as she knew it was for the best. she wanted to feel his lips. she wanted to feel his touch- no she craved his touch. she wanted him.. but they both knew it wouldn't be good.

"im sorry." she diverted her eyes away as she messed with her fingers in front of her. "i don't know what i was thinking."

"riley. i want to kiss you so fucking bad. ive always wanted to kiss you since i first met you. this can't happen though. you are dating zay and im with isadora." he admitted as he placed his hand on her face and caressed her cheek.

riley rubbed her cheek against farkle's hand and gave him an unapologetic smile.

"i should go." farkle broke the moment as he pulled his hand away and walked towards her bay window.

riley wanted to tell him not to leave and spend the night with her, but she couldn't work up the courage. she simply nodded her head and waved as he climbed out the window. the brunette let out a loud groan as she laid down on her bed. why was she trying to ruin her life?