become one with the darkness

Wedding Day

Today is my wedding day, for the two days i had to prepare for this day I've been under so much stress i could almost faint. i missed my relaxed and socially awkward life, i missed being able to do whatever the fuck i wanted and most of all i missed the sweet realise of death but that was all taken away from me a mere few months ago. i can no longer die without pain so what's the point of killing myself, i wish everything could just go back to the way it was. yet not all wishes are granted, so i'm getting married and i'm pregnant, My life is practically over. 

i heard a knock at the door, i asked who it was. it was a young lady asking me if i was the lucky bride. i didn't know about lucky but i replied with a yes. she came into my room and started to do my hair and makeup, i hadn't had those things done since i was at my mother's house. speaking of the house, when i have this child it will become the new air to the family fortune after me , what was i getting this child into. the girl was finished with me i said thank you and my goodbyes. i started to put on my wedding dress, it was white (obviously) and was covered in diamonds with bunches of flowers at the top of the dress and finally a bow at the back. i was ready to get married i supposed. i walked outside and there was a limbo waiting to take me to the alt our. i got into the limbo and the driver started to talk to me, i didn't really listen just pretended to. we got to the alt our within 20 minutes so it didn't take that long.

i got out of the limbo and walked towards the alt our (btw the thing about vampire's and churches so not true #watchdiaboliklovers). As the doors the church opened, i could feel everyone staring at me (i didn't know half the people in that church) it was very awkward. i could see zero at the top of the aisle, he looked so handsome. he was wearing a suit with his hair jelled back, he must have put in a lot of effort.  i take small steps to make sure that i don't trip or fall on my dress but finally i get to the top.

zero- hey (whispers)

hey (whispers)

the preist starts the ceromony and i start to get nervous and i mean very nervous. am i doing the right thing here ? this is forever. there's no going back after this. I'll be a mother and a wife. two things that i never wanted to be. why was i doing this anyway ? because i fell pregnant with zero's baby so now i have to marry the guy so we both won't look bad like how stupid is that. why can't i just live my life without everyone criticising all the time, i mean like it's none of anyone's business what i do with my body or who touches it. Am i doing all this just to get over the death of loki, if so i'm pathetic. loki would look down in shame if he saw the dayna that  i am becoming today. he would say that i'm becoming just another house wife that will be soon forgotten by everyone around her, trapped in her own imaginary world where everything is unicorns an happy go go sunshine.

loki used to say if i ever became like that then i would try and forget who i once was and to tell the truth i think he was right. i am forgetting myself, the old me would never want this. the old me would refuse, reject and fight until the very end. i missed the old me, i missed who i once was. i used to be a person that would stick up for herself and not give a fuck about what people said or thought, now look at me i'm getting married just because someone told me to do so.

i'm going to say something, i can no longer go along with this. i'm gonna tell zero that i can't get married and that i'm getting an abortion whenever he likes it or not. he can't control my life, i have a voice and i'm gonna speak up.

then i feel a soft sensation on my lips, i stop daydreaming and when i come to i see zero's lips collided with mine. i was to late i had already said i do, we already kissed and i was already zero's wife. i look at zero he looks so happy, his cheeks look sore from smiling. i could hear the crowd applauding and cheering. zero grabs my hand and starts to run towards the altur doors, i start to follow. trying to run in the heels and dress i lose my balance, i fall and drag zero down with me.

zero- Owww! dayna are you alright 

yeah i'm fine

zero- no your not your bleeding

i look down at myself, my once pure white dress is now stained in hot scarlet blood. then it happens i start to feel a very severe pain coming from my stomach (i start to scream)

zero- dayna, what's wrong is it that sore ?

my stomach 

zero- you stomach ? oh crap your stomach. someone please call an ambulance

my (gasp) phone is in (gasp) my bag 

zero- alright 

zero reaches for my handbag and grabs the phone out, he dials the number and i start to lose contentiousness.

zero- hey i need an ambulance  for saint peter's church , my wife's loosing a lot of blood.

zero's looks down at me, he see's that i am faintly awake.

zero- come on dayna, you need to stay awake. you can't fall asleep

i can't (gasp) help it 

after that i lost contentiousness, i have no idea what was going to happen to me or zero. i was scared and alone. trapped i my own little world, but there were no unicorns or happy sunshine's in this one