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Prolouge

                   I wanted to ruin her.

I know it was horrible. I shouldn't have even been thinking these thoughts, but that's all they were... thoughts.
   I couldn't stop them, as much as I wanted to. No matter how much I tried to bury them deep inside me they would always crawl back, latching on to my very being.

              They were just thoughts.....

She was everything you could ever ask for in life. Beauty, brains and charm. Brave and witty, so charismatic and never let anything bring her down.

   The golden girl. Perfect child. Amazing lover, not a flaw to her system.

                 But I knew better.

I was once fooled too. But I began to learn, that the golden girl wasn't actually made out of gold.

                  She was false.
               But I was nothing.

And I was, even though she was false, I wanted to be just like her. No matter how many times I tried the road not taken it would always lead right back to her.
            So yes, I wanted to ruin her.

My own sister. A twin at that, ironic I know. To seemingly be just like someone but not even by a milestone. Ironic. Painfully so.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't an awful person. I wasn't always like this, or maybe I was, maybe this was just a hidden part of me that I didn't realize was there. But that's not important. What's important is that you need to know that I truly loved my sister. I loved all my family. Honest. But sometimes love isn't even a factor in situations. You can love someone, but can you truly love them for who they are? Are you able to love every dark and twisted part about them? I thought I was able to. I thought wrong.

   So I'll tell you the story, the whole story. The bare truth, good, bad and in between. You may hate me, love me, think of  me crazy or the most reasonable person you ever met. But I'm not looking for judgment nor a praise.

Just a story.