Random Book of Thoughts

Hello

I'm scared. My dad is acting up and my mind is going dark again. I'm just scared for my family. I thought it was all better, but it's not at all. I want someone to hold me and just tell me everything will be okay. I just need that reassurance. I wish life wasn't like this, but it is and I scared. I want to not be scared, but it's getting so hard now. I want a magic wand to poof this all away and my family won't be so messed up, but I can't. I just want a family that wasn't so weird. I just want a dad that didn't always try to make trouble and make my mom happy. I'm tired of giving a fake smile now. I hate it. I'm usually so genuinely happy, but I feel it wash away. I hate it. I like being happy, but I can't. I feel scared and unsure about everything. I want someone to just hold me now. Just hold my hand or hug me. I just need that contact to make me feel better. I'm scared and unsure. I want to be happy but it's hard now. I just want to smile and for this to all be over, but I can't.