Because I Love You✔️

Chapter 81: Calm Before the Storm

"Answer me."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because dwelling on these things hurts."

"The fact that you don't fully trust me also hurts, Xaphile."

When Sinmir said it, his ears drooped... but then, he took a deep breath and sat up. Hiding his eyes with his hair, he swallowed and decided to just get everything over with. Why he was giving in over something as simple as this was a question he didn't want answered.

"When I was really, really little," he rasped, voice coming out hoarse, "my mother died. And about a week afterwards, my father kicked me in the chest so hard that I went flying through a glass door. He told me to my face that my birth was a mistake."

Sinmir looked thunderstruck.

"He what...?"

"You heard me," Xaphile retorted, closing his eyes. "I won't draw out the details since talking about this makes me really uncomfortable, but I was basically my dad's punching bag for most of my life. I was physically and verbally abused by him until I turned fifteen years old. "

The shock on the blonde man's face turned to rage in an instant.

"Were he still alive," he hissed, grey eyes swirling with ire, "I would gut him."

"That wouldn't solve anything," Xaphile muttered, shaking his head. "The second big reason I killed myself back on Earth was because I understood him after Ella died."

"What in Asgrog's forge is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I understand the reason my father became the way he did," he retorted. "He was suffering because my mother died, and he had no way to get those emotions out of him, so he resorted to drinking and taking his hurt and anger out on me. I felt like I would become the same kind of person that he did if I didn't... end it. Even now, I feel like I actually am, still."

Sinmir leaned forward and snatched his left horn, jerking his head upright.

The tears that had brimmed up there flew into the air and landed on his beard.

"You aren't anything like that, nor will you ever be," he said harshly, staring straight into his irises and down into the pits of his soul. "I've heard enough to tell you with absolute certainty that you and your father are two very different breed of men. He was a poison to your heart and mind."

"Poison or not," Xaphile quietly told him, lifting a hand and touching Sinmir's thick fingers, "he was my father. And I know what you're going to say... that he was wrong, that nothing he said should get to me, and that I should ignore it. But it did get to me. I couldn't ignore it. Ella spent five years of her life trying to convince me that I really mattered, but it never fully worked."

Sinmir's hand slid away from his horn and slid down across his long hair, coming to a rest on his shoulder. Then, leaning forward, he roughly pulled Xaphile into an embrace, practically crushing the life out of him.

"I cannot say that I understand your heartache," he grunted, "nor can I do anything that will make this situation easier on you... but please, lad... stop making that face."