My Brother

Unexpected Surprise

I'm staring at my reflection in the knife and I look like complete shit. I feel like shit.

"Just do it" I hear a voice say. "Just get it over with already."

Slowly I stick my arm searching for the perfect place to leave my mark. Just as I'm bringing the knife to my skin my phone rings. This time I check to see who it is before I answer.

"Whuuuuuttttt" I slur out.

"Ky.. Kyla? Have you been drinking?" Tahj says.

"Maybe whaaa why does it matter?" I ask. "Aren't you out with another bitch?"

"I'm five minutes from the house.". Who does this nigga think he is? Captain Save A Hoe? Well I ain't no hoe and I damn sure don't need no saving.

"It'll all be too late when you get here" I say laughing.

"Kyla, what the hell? I swear to God" he asks. "Is everything okay babe?" I hear Nicole say.

"Fuck you" I said before hanging up.

I grabbed the knife and cut two deep slashes into my arm. I grab the bottle and down what's left in the bottle. I close my eyes and let sleep take over.

~ a few hours later ~

"Baby wake up" I hear a voice say. "Baby can you hear me."

I open my eyes and there Tahj is standing over me. There's lights everywhere and I keep hearing the constant sounds of beeping.  Where the fuck am I?

"Kyla, I'm Dr. Alan do you know why you're here?" I try to sit up and my body is completely weak. "Try to take it easy, your body is weak from losing a lot of blood."

"Blood?" I ask confused. The last I remember I was at home drinking wine. How the hell did I end up in the hospital with bright lights, tubes sticking out of me and an annoying beeping machine? "Why was there blood?"

"Because you tried to kill your fuckin' self!" Tahj yell. "How stupid could you fuckin' be?"

"You know what Tahj fuck you! You think I asked to be laid up in a hospital bed? I don't even remember what the hell happened and you're yelling at."

At this point me and Tahj are going at it. I hate him. I don't see how I could ever love him. Just the sight of him right now is upsetting me.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." Dr. Alan jumps in.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Sir you can either leave or I'm gonna have to call security. The choice is up to you."

Tahj looks at me and turns around to leave. I don't even know why he was here to begin with, hell I'm still trying to figure out what did I do to end up in a hospital bed.

"You tried to commit suicide that's why you're here." Dr. Alan says reading my mind somehow. "Tell me what's the last thing you remember?"

"Well I remember me and Tahj, my boyfriend, getting into. I remember drinking some wine because I wanted to numb the pain and now I'm here."

"You slit your wrist Kyla." the doctor says looking at me sympathetically. "Have you always been suicidal or had suicidal thoughts?"

"NO! I WOULD NEVER TRY TO HURT MYSELF OR EVEN TRY TO KILL MYSELF."

"Please calm down" he says throwing up his hands. "I'm just asking because of where and how deep you cut yourself, that's all."

"I would never try to kill myself doc, I swear on my life" I say as I begin to cry. "I don't know what happened."

"Kyla, it's okay. That's not important, what's important that your boyfriend got you here in time and we stopped the bleeding when we could."

I look down at my arm and it's completely bandaged. I can't believe I tried to kill myself. I'm better than this. No man will ever be worth killing myself over.

"I just wanted the pain to go away" I began crying.

"We all do some crazy things in our life and I'm not here to judge you." Dr. Alan says while getting me some tissue. "I'm not here to judge. My job is to save lives and to help those who need it."

"I don't need help doctor. This shit will never happen again, I promise."

"Kyla I know you don't want to hear this but I think you should seek additional help, such as therapy." Dr Alan tells me. "I'll be sure to give you her information before you're checked out."

"I DON'T NEED IT" I respond getting upset. "I'm fine."

"Kyla, I'm not trying to upset you. I just want to make sure that you're stable enough for you and your child."

"What..what are you talking about? I don't have a child."

"You didn't know?" Dr. Alan asks me confused.

"Know what?" I ask him getting even more upset. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Kyla, you're three months pregnant."