Cynical Romantic

Squirrels in his Pants

"Your boyfriend doesn't look to happy that you're talking to me," Cute stranger man told me, nodding his head towards Carter.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, which felt like the thousandth time tonight, "Carter is not my boyfriend." I looked back at Carter to see him looking over this way. His eyes looked droopy and it almost made me feel guilty. Almost.

"He's not? Then why does it look like you murdered his puppy this morning?"

"Maybe because I did," i whispered jokingly. "Nah, I'm kidding. He wants alot from me and I don't have anything to give him."

"Like what?"

"He wants a relationship, but I don't do relationships." Why was I telling this complete stranger my buisness?  This was so unlike me, I've noticed I've been doing alot of things I normally wouldn't do latley.

"But you have feelings for him?" He asked as if he was trying to solve a mystery and he was Velma from Scooby-Doo.

"No, No way do I have any feeling for Carter," i laughed just at the thought itself. "i didn't catch your name."

"Nick, and you're Rose. I remembered your name tag." He laughed, "As much as I like talking to you, it looks like he's about to start foaming from the mouth. I think you should get back to Walter."

"Carter." I corrected, but nodded saying goodbye, then heading back to the person who brought me here.

When I walked up to Carter, he started staring at something else, pretending that he wasn't looking at Nick and me talking the whole time. "Are you going to stand there all night or?" I goaded.

"Like I said, I don't do parties often." He told me for the second time tonight, but somehow I knew that he could probably count the number of parties that he's been to on his one hand.

I took his hand and drug him into the living room where tons of people danced along to the beat of the music. When we got to the center Carter just stared at me, I guess he was waiting on me to make the first move. "Come on, dance with me."

"I can't dance."

"Neither can I," i admitted as I just danced to the beat Around Carter who was just standing there looking for direction. So I took his hand again and started twirling myself around. He laughed at my stupid gesture, "Come on, just dance." I pleaded taking both of his hands and moving them like we do with babies.

A few songs and begs later, Carter started moving a little bit. Eventually, he came out of his shell and started to dancing with me. Of course he danced like there was squirrels I'm his pants, or he was about to pee his pants, but he was having fun, and that made me happy.  It was fun, we were laughing at each others horrible dance moves and on top of that we kept stepping on each others feet.

"See, I told you. It's fun," i mused feeling high on the adrenaline. But as soon as we were both jumping and having a great time, the music slowed down. This never happens at parties, so I was automatically confused.

When I looked around I saw couple dancing with each other, but not the way they were a few minutes ago. Now they were holding each other close- too close for my liking.

I started to walk back to the kitchen, until Carter pulled my wrist back and pulled me closer to his warm body. "You made me dance with you, now you have to dance with me he whispered." He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me as close as he could. "This is the part where you put your arms around my neck," he smirked reaching for my arms and laying them across his shoulders.

We danced- well, he danced, I just kind of stood there to "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors. The song is way too intimate and sad, and I didn't feel comfortable with it playing in the background of Carter holding me so close.

"I'm not going to let you go, until you dance with me," he chuckled whispering in my ear.

I groaned and intertwined my fingers behind his neck and swayed along with the song as he did. Listening to the lyrics of the song "Hold, Hold on to me, cause I'm a little unsteady," made me want to gag. Eventually, I rested my head against his chest listening to each beat of his heart. It was beating fast as if he was nervous.  I looked up at his face to notice he was staring at me the whole time. We stared in each others eyes for a while, which I noticed his light brown eyes for the first time.

The whole place stopped, I couldn't even hear the music anymore. The only thing I heard was my heart beat, I didn't even notice Carter moving closer to my face. He was only about an inch away from my face, that was when I realized I had to stop him. I pulled back my hands from his neck and escaped my body from his arms.

As I was walking away I wondered how stupid I am. He was two seconds away from kissing me. Was I going to let him? I didn't want to kiss Carter... at all.

I walked out of the house and down the steps before Carter caught up to me. "Wait up," he said, but I didn't listen and just kept my pace. "I said wait up," he demanded grabbed hand.

I quickly yanked it out of his possession, "Stop following me," i mumbled.

"Tell me why you ran out. I thought things were going great." Carter admitted ad he followed me, but I ignored him. I didn't want to talk to him at all. "You're just a scared little girl." His voice tone changed

I turned around so quick and got up in his face,"I'm scared?" I  gritted my teeth.

"Philophobia," he shouted back, "It's when someone has the fear of falling in love or any emotional attachment."

"It's not a fear, I just don't want it," i yelled back at him. The music was still so loud from the party that I doubt anyone could hear us, but the people outside were sure getting a show.

"If you're not scared, then kiss me," he dared moving closer to me.

"I'm not kissing you."

"Why? You know you want to. What's holding you back, Rose?" He kept pushing me and I just wanted to hit something. He makes me so mad.

"I don't want to kiss you because I don't want to kiss you, not because I'm afraid."

"Whatever you say. But I know you wanted to kiss me in there or else you would've stopped me way before I got that close."

"You can believe what you want," i pushed him back and started my way down the street. We always have the same argument, and I'm beginning to wonder if I should just cut him out of my life completely.

Ever since he came into my life, he's changed alot of things in my life and on top of all the change, he's been annoying about it the whole time.

Being around him has just became too much of a hassle, and I don't like that. I don't like looking at him, I don't like speaking to him, I don't like the way he touches me, and I most definitely do not like the way he makes me feel.