Blackout

Original Edition: 11 | Recurring

The scene from my nightmare is too horrific to be true, but it has to be. Dreams are never this vivid.

Deep within me, I know, and realization is paralyzing.

It's a memory.

✘✘✘

I'm distracted as I sit with my friends at our usual table. One half of me is buzzing with anxious energy, and the other half is laden and heavy with lack of sleep.

Since the awful dream I had a few nights ago, I've been paging through my diary, wanting to stay awake as long as possible to keep away the nightmares, but it seems like everything significant has already been torn out. Absentmindedly, my fingers gravitate to my stomach, where my sweater conceals the bandage. I've been doing my best to care for it, to keep it clean and change out the dressing, but it doesn't seem as though it's making any progress toward healing.

Blinking slowly, I rest my chin in my hand, stirring my spoon in the bowl of soup in front of me. The rest of them are going on about some football game happening tonight, but I can't find it in me to pretend that I'm interested.

Looking up, I find Dylan's eyes watching me thoughtfully. Things have been tense between us ever since the party. He seems to have a better grasp on how unhappy with our relationship I really am, and he's done well to keep his distance. When he catches my gaze, he gives me a tentative smile.

"Hey sleepyhead," he says, amusement in his voice despite its soft tone. "Are you still with us?"

"Sorry," I mumble, smiling apologetically for the sake of the others at the table. "School is kicking my ass. I've been up late these past few nights doing homework."

"Are you coming to the game tonight?" Dylan asks, sounding a mixture of hopeful and hesitant. "You could take a break from studying. Get some fresh air."

"I don't know, I'm kind of falling behind..." I trail off, noting the unimpressed look on Zoe's face, her eyebrow lifted in judgment. Sighing, I give a half-hearted smile. "But I'll try to make it."

She smiles brightly, pleased. "The captain of the football team should definitely have his girlfriend there to support him. School work can wait. Plus, if you're not there, who am I supposed to sit with?"

Literally anyone else, is the biting response on the tip of my tongue, due to my lack of sleep and irritable state, but I simply smile, as though I'm delighted at the prospect of sitting together. Her presence has long changed from being a comfort, the way it was on my first day back. I've felt strange around her ever since she blatantly lied to my face about talking with Mason at the party.

James finds my eyes then, shooting me a large grin. "You don't wanna miss it. After all, I'll be playing." He winks, and an amused smile pulls at my lips.

Dylan eyes me, before glaring in his friend's direction. "Yeah, we'll see how much longer that lasts. You're about one more skipped practice away from being kicked off the team."

He shrugs, wicked grin intact. "I've been a little busy."

"Screwing all the cheerleaders," Dylan mutters under his breath, looking away.

"Gross," I comment, setting down the spoon and losing my appetite as my nose crinkles in disgust.

James smirks at me, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. "Don't worry, I'll always make time for you, sweetheart."

I'm about to tell him to leave me out of his dirty schedule, before Dylan presses his palm to the surface of the table aggressively, causing our trays to jump a little. He gives James a dirty look, his brown eyes narrowed and his jaw tight, reminding me of his rigid posture as he confronted Mason at the fair.