Reflecting their own light: Rory and Logan

Chapter 7

"Nice to meet you, Dr. O'Brien.  I'm Logan, Rory's fiancé," he says shaking her hand.

She proceeds to ask me similar questions as the nurse asked earlier.  She discerns my due date to be June 22.  That seems like an eternity away.  The doctor slips out of the room, returning a moment later with a small ultrasound machine.  She prepares a long wand.

"We can't use the external wand for an ultrasound this early.  This one is internal and gives us a better look at the tiny baby inside," she says as she pulls out the stirrups.  "I'd like for you to lay back, put your heels in the stirrups and slide your hips down to the edge of the exam table."

The doctor turns off the lights, turns on the machine and inserts the wand.  It's cold and little uncomfortable at first.  She moves it around, trying to find my uterus.  Logan moves up near my head, holding my hand.  I feel like I've got a death grip on him.  We stare at the screen intently.  I have no idea what I'm even looking for, but I stare anyway.

Dr. O'Brien stops moving the wand.  "There," she points to the screen.  "There's your baby."

I'm flabbergasted.  "That......that's.....inside me?"

Logan is silent.  He's fixated on the screen in amazement.

"Logan, there's a baby.....inside of me," I say, feeling the panic flooding me.  I keep staring at the screen.  This can't be real.  There is no way there's a baby inside!

"Yes, Ace, that's what being pregnant means," he said with a laugh.  "And, you're crushing my hand."

I release his hand.  "I'm so sorry, Logan.  I'm......just.....I...." my voice trails off.

"Do you see the screen, Rory?  That's the baby......OUR baby!"  He says as a smile grows on his face.  It was the biggest I've ever seen him smile.  The panic starts to fade.  He's right.  It is our baby that I'm seeing on the screen, even though it looks more like a lima bean than a baby at this point.  I can feel a smile growing and a tear welling up in my eye.

"If you'd like, I can print you a few pictures," Dr. O'Brien offers.  She begins taking a few measurements of the baby on the screen.  "Looks like the measurements confirm the June 22 due date."  She hits another button and I can hear a rapid beating.  "That's your baby's heartbeat."

"It's....beautiful," I say, choking back a sob.  Damn these hormones!

She prints a few pictures from the machine and hands them to us.  "You can go ahead and get dressed.  I'll be back in a few minutes," she says as she puts away the wand and wheels the machine out, closing the door behind her.

I pull myself upright and get off the exam table.  Logan hands me my clothes to put on.  We sit in silence for a few minutes, holding hands.

"We're having a baby, Ace!  The concept felt so distant until I saw it for myself on that screen," Logan said, breaking the silence.

I still have no words.  Thoughts try to form in my head, but I can't catch them and put them together.  I am in awe.

The rest of the appointment went quickly.  Dr. O'Brien returned.  She went over my anticipated appointment schedule and asked if I had any questions.  I'm sure there will be a million questions once I leave the office but for now, my mind is still a bit of a blank.

The doctor shows us the way back to the waiting room.  There's a baby....inside me.....baby....inside..... This was the only thought rolling around.  I saw it on the screen.  We have the pictures.  While it hasn't even started to resemble anything remotely human, it is in there.  I hadn't even noticed Logan looking at me with great concern.  I'm not very good at hiding my emotions lately.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I'm....I.....baby....inside..." I said, the words still refused to form a cohesive sentence.

"Ace, just relax.  You will be fine.  I'm here for you!  I will always be here for you!" he said, reassuringly.  "Let's go home and have a nice evening in rather than going out for dinner.  We'll order Chinese and you can have total control over the remote!"

"Total control?  You have to watch anything I put on?"  I said, forming my first full thought.  "That sounds absolutely wonderful, Logan!"

The thought of a relaxing night in sounded fantastic.  As we headed to the car, Logan made a quick call to work to make sure there weren't any pressing issues.

"Looks like I'll need to take care of a few issues from home, but the office is safe without me for now," he said as we climbed into the car.

Our buzzer rang.  The Chinese food was finally here!  Logan buzzed the delivery person up.  He opened the door and was astonished at the amount of food I ordered.

"I guess old habits are hard to break," I said, smiling and laughing.  "It seems my mother's influence runs deep!"

We sit down to eat dinner.  It was comforting.  It felt like home.  I haven't felt like that in a very long time.  My life has been turned upside-down.  Living a nomadic lifestyle, crashing on other people's couches, moving back in with my mom has finally taken its toll on me.  I know what I've been missing, what I've been searching for.  It feels right.

After we finish eating, we move to the couch.  Logan attempts to use the remote.

"Not so fast, Mister!" I say as I snatch the remote from his hands.  I turn on the TV, scrolling through our options.  With a few pushes of the button my choice becomes clear.  There's a Twilight Zone marathon on.  This couldn't be more perfect.  I press the button to select it.  The episode is Logan's favorite, "The Long Morrow."  I'll take this as a sign.

We cuddle up on the couch with a blanket.  I lasted about three episodes.  I fell asleep in Logan's arms.