I Need To Be Loved (Ricky Horror Fan Fic) [Book #1]

Promises Left To Mend

A moment later, my phone buzzed. I was half hoping that it would be Ricky, but it was Jeremy telling me that we were leaving in fifteen minutes. In fifteen minutes, we’d drive away from this place and I may never see Ricky again I knew deep down I should find him and make things right. I knew I should, but I couldn’t. It was too late. I’m sure he was moving on without me. He didn’t need me. As much as Chris tried to tell me otherwise, I knew I was just a bump in the road to him. Nothing special.

I told Chris that I had to get back to the bus. I could tell he was disappointed that I wasn’t going to go talk to Ricky, but he let me go without a fight thankfully. I just wasn’t ready. I’d probably just end up crying the whole time if I tried to talk to him. 

I knew this whole relationship thing would end up with me getting hurt. I was so done with letting people in. My best friend ruined my first relationship, my first boyfriend assumed I cheated on him, my other friends were trying to push me to make up with my first boyfriend. Why couldn’t everyone just leave me alone? When I got home, I wasn’t leaving my room for the two weeks we were home. I wanted no human contact at all. I was so sick of people trying to help me with my problems; trying to make things right for me when nothing was right. I should be kissing Ricky goodbye right now, not crying over the fact that we had broken up. I should be sad to go home not happy to be able to not talk to anyone for two weeks. Nothing was ever going to be right again.

A few minutes later, I was getting back on our bus and Jeremy was pouncing on me. “So, how did it go?” he questioned excitedly. He was smiling, but as soon as he saw my face, his smile quickly faded.

“I couldn’t find him,” I lied. He’d never find out. None of us would ever see Motionless In White again if I had my way.

“Did you really try?” Blake asked. He knew I didn’t really want to talk to Ricky, so he saw through my lie. They all knew me too well to believe me.

“Yes!” I claimed. I could tell by their faces they didn’t believe one word of what I said, but they let it go. I think they were all afraid they’d set me off if they pushed too much.

I then changed into my pajamas and crawled into my bunk, thankful to be left alone for the long ride home.

*************************

As I stepped off the bus in front of my aunt’s house, I prepared myself for all the questions from Aunt Addy. I wasn’t sure if Jeremy had called her and told her what had happened already, but as soon as she saw me, she would know something was up.

Jeremy helped me get my bags to the front door. I was about to knock because I couldn’t find my keys with all my stuff in my hands when the door swung open. Aunt Addy had probably seen us pull up. Her smile quickly faded when she saw me. My hood was pulled over my head again and my eyes were puffy from crying this morning. Something Blake had said reminded me of Ricky and I had started to bawl. I was an emotional reck to put it lightly.

“Honey, are you ok?” Aunt Addy questioned before she even said hello. That’s when I burst out into tears again. Like I said, emotional reck. I hadn’t gone a day without crying since the whole thing happened. My aunt then pulled me into a tight hug, which just make me cry harder. “Let’s go inside and talk,” she suggested soothing, rubbing my back. She dragged me into the living room as Jeremy climbed the stairs to my room to put my stuff away.

I cried well after I heard the guys pull away. I thought I’d be over this by now. I thought I had cried enough tears over Ricky, but I was dead wrong.

“Sweetie, what happened? When we left you were so happy,” my aunt saif after I calmed down a bit. I felt like I’d never be ok again.

“Devin kissed me and Ricky saw and he wouldn’t let me explain what happened and I miss him,” I rambled on. I had to take a deep breath so I wouldn’t start crying again.

“Devin your friend or Devin from Ricky’s band?” she questioned. I could never imagine Devin from Motionless In White kissing, but then again I could never imagine Devin my friend kissing me before this either.

“Devin my friend,” I replied with a sniffle/ Her eyes got wide in disbelief. She looked just as shocked as I and felt when it first happened.

“He kissed you when he knew you were with Ricky?” she exclaimed. All I could do was nod. In my mind, all I could see was Ricky’s disappointed face. “Well, that’s screwed up,” she murmured.

“Did you make it clear to Devin that you don’t like him in that way?” she asked. I hadn’t spoken to Devin since it happened, but I’m pretty sure he got the message.

“Well, I didn’t sat it but I think he knows,” I responded, rubbing at my puffy eyes. Why did relationships have to be so complicated?

“Well, maybe you should start by calling him and telling him that you only want to be friends,” she suggested. I blew out a sigh. That was about the last thing I wanted to do. I wished things could just fix themselves, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen.