On the Devil's Path {a SOA sequel}

Chapter twenty-six

Gemma had made her way back over to me and pulled me close.

"They'll be fine. They always are." She said, more to herself than to me. But I nodded along anyway.

We stayed like that for a while; the two of us just holding onto each other until her cell phone rang. She untangled herself from me and answered it.

"That was Neeta. She's bringing the baby here." She said.

I let myself smile and sunk back onto the table. My baby was coming. While we waited I noticed Gemma staring at me.

"What?" I asked finally. She smirked and lit up a smoke.

"I saw you and Jax. The way you looked at each other. That little kiss." She said, her smirk spreading into a full blown smile.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

"He said he loves me, Gem." I whispered. I almost couldn't say it out loud.

Her eyes lit up and I rolled mine.

"He's scared. That's the only reason he said it. We haven't even spoken in months. It didn't mean anything." I said.

I was trying to convince myself it was nothing, I really was. But I just couldn't shake the look in Jax's eyes when he was talking to me. Gemma kicked up her eyebrow and cocked her head.

"Nothing? My son doesn't just say 'I love you' to anyone out of the blue, McKayla. You of all people should know that."

I rolled my eyes again and shook my head. This was something I couldn't think about right now. When Jax comes back, maybe. But right now? No.

Neeta came by not long after our conversation and dropped Abel off. I fed him then brought him into the office for a nap so I could get some work done. Thankfully, the paperwork was super backed up so it kept my mind busy. Gemma took off to run some errands and I was alone with the baby.

While he slept, I just watched him. He looked so peaceful and his mouth was turned up in a small smile. I couldn't help but smile myself. He was getting so big now and looking more like Jax every day. He had the same baby blue eyes and angelic blonde hair. He was definitely going to be a lady killer when he grew up. I chuckled as I thought about it. Jax and I were going to have our hands full. Jax and I? My smile fell. Would we even be together then?

My smile came back just as quickly as it left. Even if we weren't together, I knew I would still be a part of Abel's life. I was his mother and no one would ever take that from me.

What I didn't know was where that put Jax and I. There was no denying that I loved Jax. I would die for him and I knew he would do the same for me. What I didn't know was if that was enough. I could never give him a child so we'd never be a real family. But, maybe that wouldn't matter. Maybe Abel and his unborn child with Tara would be enough.

That was the other problem, Tara. So far I haven't crossed paths with her. Gemma made it clear that she wasn't welcome near the clubhouse or garage. I tried to tell her that wasn't necessary but Gemma was the most stubborn, unforgiving, woman I've ever met. I'm still thanking my lucky stars that she still likes me.

From what I could gather, Jax and Tara were civil. Opie told me that Jax goes with her to doctor's appointments and she calls sometimes but other than that, they didn't spend much time together. She did pass a message to me that she wanted to clear the air. I ignored it and pushed that thought to the back of my mind. I didn't think I could bear seeing her swollen belly. I knew I should talk to her before I made a decision about Jax and my future. Maybe she wouldn't be a problem at all.