On the Devil's Path {a SOA sequel}

Chapter twenty-six

My heart sped up and I felt myself look back at the clubhouse door. The boys were in danger. Jax was in danger. A sharp pang of guilt struck me hard in the chest. What if something happened to him today? I wanted to ask Gemma more questions but the door opening stopped me.

All of the boys, my boys, filed out of the clubhouse. Jax and Opie came out together, huddled and whispering. Clay made his way over to where Gemma and I were sitting and pulled her close.

"It's gonna be fine, baby. Routine shit." He says, shrugging it off.

Something in his eyes told me he was worried. Gemma could see it too. She wanted to say something, but she knew she wouldn't get any answers. Jax separated from Opie and walked over to us. Gemma reached out and clung tightly to him.

"You be careful, Jackson. You hear me?" She said.

I swallowed down the knot in my throat and made myself turn away. Suddenly I felt like I was intruding on their family moment; like I didn't belong there anymore. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Clay and Gemma walk off towards his bike. Jax however, stayed put. He was fumbling with his Zippo and rolling a cigarette between his finger and thumb.

"What's going on today?" I asked him softly. I cursed myself for how weak I sounded.

Jax sighed deeply and finally lit the cigarette. He offered me one and lit it once it was between my lips.

"We made some deals that are coming back to bite us. Hopefully we'll straighten it out today, but these aren't the kind of people you negotiate with." He said.

His tone of voice shook me straight to the core. He was terrified. For the first time in six months I really looked at him. He had a few healing cuts and bruises on his face and he looked exhausted. Jax noticed me studying him and he dropped his head down. Everything inside me was telling me to reach out and touch him. To pull him into my arms and assure him that it was going to be okay. Instead, I settled for taking his hand in my own. I heard his breath hitch and his head shot up. His brilliant blue eyes connected with mine and searched them.

"Promise me you'll be safe?" I said just above a whisper.

He didn't answer me. I watched his jaw clench as he forced himself to nod. He took a drag of his cigarette and gently rubbed his thumb across my knuckles.

"If something does happen tonight, you do whatever my mom says alright?" He said without looking at me.

I tilted my head in confusion and opened my mouth to speak. Before I could, Jax let go of my hand and ran it through his hair.

"Jackie! Let's roll!" Chibs called from his bike.

Jax took a deep breath and nodded once. He turned back towards me and brought his large, calloused hand up to my neck and in one swift movement pulled me close so that his forehead was flush against mine. We stayed like that for a few breaths and I closed my eyes, relaxing into his touch. The next thing I knew his lips were brushing against my skin so softly I could've mistaken it for a breeze.

"I love you." He whispered.

My eyes shot open and all of my breath rushed out of my lungs like I was kicked in the stomach. He didn't give me a chance to reply. Just as quickly as it all happened, he was gone. I watched him jog over to his bike and throw his leg over it. He nodded to Clay and they fired up the bikes. As they were parading out of the garage, I felt myself grow numb. I had to wrap my arms around myself to contain the shaking of my body.

After everything, all of the hurt, all of the pain I had put him through, Jax still loved me. I wanted to be happy. Hell, I wanted to jump for joy and shout from the rooftop. But after how scared Jax looked, I just felt sick.