Much Like Falling

Chapter Twenty

*Emerson’s POV*

I thought you weren’t going to break up with me…

Leave me alone, Mia, I fucking hate you right now.

No, that was a lie. I loved her. I fucking loved Mia. But soon she’d be leaving…

I just needed to be alone. I ran down her street and made my way to the river, clearly in no state to drive.

Me: I’m not breaking up with you… I just need to be alone.

Mia: I’m sorry…

Yeah, right.

How was she sorry?

She knew about it all along, and she didn’t think to tell me? Here I was, thinking we’d be getting married and raising a family together; living happily-ever-after, but no! She knew all along we wouldn’t even come close to doing those things! Why was she doing this to me?

Was it her fault? Fuck, I didn’t know.

I stopped running once I reached the river. Not many people came this far down, so I was thankful for the solitude. Letting my tears flow, I collapsed against a tree, hitting my head hard against its trunk. I didn’t know what was worse; biting, or cutting, starving myself, or hitting my head? It was all the same to me.

I breathed in deeply, trying to calm myself down but it was no use. My girlfriend was dying.

My girlfriend was fucking dying!

What would happen to me after she’d pass? Heck, what would happen to her? Was there a Heaven? I hoped so, but I couldn’t see it being possible.

I still love you, Mia, and I want to stay with you in your forever.

This morning, I didn’t think this day could get any worse. I mean, yesterday was beautiful. All along she knew she was dying, and I was all happy thinking we were fine.

Fuck sakes!

I rested my head against the tree and closed my eyes, folding my arms across my chest. My chest was rising rapidly and my head was spinning. I couldn’t believe it.

Please reply…

Eventually I would have to go back and face her, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind to do that now.

I replied; I don’t know what you want me to say, Mia.

Mia: Anything…

I didn’t know how long I stayed by the river. I ended up walking along the sand, skipping stones like Dad used to. Eventually, though, it was time to head back to my babe of a car; the one thing that never seemed to leave me.

 How could, two people who meant so much to me, be torn from my fingertips in so little time? It wasn’t humane. God, why were you doing this to me?

She stood up from the porch steps, her cheeks wet with tears. Her blue eyes were almost green now that they were bloodshot. I stopped in front of her and gripped her waist with my hands, holding her tightly.

I breathed in deeply, containing my tears. I needed to be there for my girlfriend, right until the end. I could do that. “I love you, Rabbit.” I wasn’t expecting her to say it back; I just needed her to hear it.

“I love you too, Tiger.”

I smashed my lips against hers, running my tongue across her lower lip before exploring her mouth completely. She loved me?

She fucking loved me!