Let Her Go (Arranged Love Sequel)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Justin's POV

Oh crap. I fucked up. I fucked up bad.

I just wanted to protect her and instead I did the exact opposite. 

I hurt her.

And now I didn't even know where she was.

Where my children were.

My entire family.

I was going to lose them all; the most important people in my life; all because of a misunderstanding.

How was I even supposed to explain myself if I couldn't contact her?

How was I supposed to prove that I was innocent?

How was I supposed to stop them all from hating me?

How was I supposed to tell her that she heard everything wrong? Out of context?

How was I supposed to let her know that she was the only woman I had eyes for; that she was the love of my life?

What was I meant to do?

With a heavy sigh I took another swing of the vodka I was drinking, finishing off what was left.

I tossed the empty remains to the side and reached for a bottle of Jack, needing something to help me sink into oblivion.

After a while when I couldn't think straight, my dysfunctional brain decided to take a drive to my sister's house needing some form of comfort.

Even in my intoxicated state I couldn't stand being alone.

Not when I had grown used to having my family around.

How was I supposed to go back to the person I used to be before I met Selena?

The miserable man who lived solely for the sake of business?

I haphazardly parked my car in her driveway. Somehow I had managed to drive here in one piece.

I wasn't sure whether luck was on my side or not with that honestly.

I stumbled out of the car and staggered my way to her front door.

I rang the doorbell and leaned against the wall, using it to hold me upright because I was positive I was about to tip over.

"Justin?" Jazzy's questioning voice made me turn to look at her when she opened the door.

"What the hell are you even doing here? Are you drunk?!" She held up my weight as I hugged her tightly.

I murmured something but my mind was too disabled to actually process what I had said. I probably wasn't even making sense.

She let out a breath and led me to her living room, unceremoniously dropping my body onto her couch.

"I fucked up Jaz." I began to vent, my words slightly slurred yet still comprehensive.

She sat down near my head quietly as she began to listen. "She heard something and it sounded way worse than it actually is and now she thinks I'm cheating on her and she left me for good most likely but I'm not. I swear I'm not. I'd never do that. I love her too much. Why would I jeopardize my family like that? But she thinks I did and she probably won't come back and I'll never see them again." I felt the warm liquid on my cheek indicating that I was crying.

Jesus, I'm a mess. 

"I love them all so much but I fucked up. I thought I was doing the right thing but I wasn't and now she hates me and my children hate me and you should hate me too and I hate me and I'm just so so sorry. I need them Jaz. I don't know how to live without them. They're my entire life. My reason to live. If I don't have them then what do I have?" I continued to ramble as she silently ran her fingers through my hair.