20|| Jason

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"You've got to be kidding me." Thalia stared in the Great Hall, her mouth hanging open in disgust. The entire place looked like Aphrodite had a little too much nectar to drink. The walls were covered in large and overly blooming flowers. Heart-shaped confetti was falling from the pale blue ceiling, drifting down over everything. Pink velvet drapes hung around the windows, and the candles suspended in mid-air glowed a merry pink color, more flowers bunched at the bottom of them.

"What— what—" Percy seemed at a loss for words. Nico had backed up out of the Hall, as if it was a contagious disease that had taken over Hogwarts.

"What's going on?" Annabeth finally asked, her eyes darting around in disbelief, as they sat down next to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who had recovered from her... furry incident. In response to Annabeth's question, Ron pointed to the teacher's table, too disgusted to speak. Lockhart stood in his seat, arms spread and beaming like he had just cured child slavery.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" he shouted. "And may I thank the forty-six people who have so far sent me cards! Yes, I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all, and it doesn't end here!"

"Make it stop!" Thalia groaned, banging her head on the table amidst the heart-shaped confetti.

Lockhart clapped his hands and in marched a dozen surly-looking dwarfs in diapers with golden wings and harps. "My friendly, card-carrying cupids!" Lockhart beamed. "And the fun doesn't stop even here—" "I wish it did," Annabeth grumbled, "—I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion! And while you're at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Enchanting Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old dog!"

Jason glanced at the potions teacher, whose eyes were flickering dangerously, as if the first person who asked for a love potion would be force-fed poison.

"Please, Hermione, tell me you weren't one of the forty-six," Annabeth said, grimacing. Hermione suddenly became very interested in searching her bag for her schedule.

>>>•O•<<<

"Oi, you! 'Arry Potter!" Jason stopped and turned down the hall, where one of the grumpy 'angels' was hurrying after them, his legs entangled in the diaper. "I'ave got a musical message to deliver to 'Arry Potter in person."

"Not here," Harry hissed, looking around quickly for witnesses, which unfortunately seemed to include the entire majority of Hogwarts in their one corridor.

"Let me go!" harry and the dwarf were now playing tug-of-war with his bag.

Riiiip

The bag split in two, books, quills, and ink smashing over one another.

"Right." The dwarf jumped atop Harry while he was trying to gather his supplies. Jason turned away and saw Malfoy smirking at them, Piper amongst the Slytherins. Her face was twisted in disgust. Jason hoped it was at all the love themed stuff around Hogwarts.

"Here's your singing valentine!" The dwarf announced, plucking his harp.

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard

I wish he was mine, he's really divine

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.

Jason stared at the dwarf, who was looking pleased as he sprang up and twiddled with his harp, running down the hall. Harry's face was bright red, laughing in embarrassment while simultaneously trying to curl up into a fetal position discreetly.

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