Goddess Magazine Stories/Articles

How To Get What You Want (Dec, 2011/Jan, 2012

As kids, whenever we had our eye on that brand new toy, we would beg, cry or even stamp our feet, and say “I want, I want, I want!” And it would often times fail. As adults, we can't flail ourselves around and throw a tantrum, especially when comes to the matter of love and relationships. So, how do we get what we want (and without being selfish)? The key is simple. Communication.

Do unto others. If you want to be treated a certain way, you will get that treatment in return. This is probably one of the oldest rules in history, and still holds value. In any relationship, you have to give to receive.

Kill 'em with kindness. Remember grandma's old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” Whether for love, work or play, put your best foot forward and be nice. Ask for what you want nicely. Start with a compliment in reference to the subject at hand. For example, if you want your partner to make dinner, simply praise them about a meal that they made. You have a much better chance of getting dinner made and a break from cooking. Find and highlight the other person's strengths and work with it.

If all else fails, throw hints and hope they work in your favor. For example, can't afford that new Coach bag? Throw out there how you shouldn't buy yourself something that pricey at that moment. You may get just get a nice surprise (and the new bag).

No Ultimatums. Nobody wants to be told to do something or pay a price. Threats will only make the other person angry, and they will give in even less, causing more of a problem. You want to get what you want, not make them disgusted with you. Instead, kindly explain if you feel like there is something that you want to get, using terms like “I think...” or “I feel...” Do not say “you”, it places blame.

Listen to their reply patiently, without interruption; it can destroy what you are trying to accomplish.

Great minds think alike. Imitate the other person's ways. It is proven that if you mirror the other person, but not in a teasing way, they will feel more comfortable and are more likely to say yes and give in.

Remember to keep positively thinking and show how you both can benefit your pitch at getting what you want. It's all about how you sell yourself. Keep in mind that getting what you want doesn't always equal happiness, it is the small sentimental things that mean the most.