STATIC (LGBT)

Chapter 34

Sigh…

I turned my head to him, “What?”

My dad´s green eyes shifted down to his cup for a few seconds. If I didn´t know better I´d simply leave, but I know that he was probably gathering the courage to tell me something since that is what I do too in similar situations. When he finally looked up at me he scratched his stubble and cocked his head to the side.

“How are things going with Zoë?” He asked.

“Fine.” I said, “Why?”

My dad stopped again to stare at me long and hard. Behind his glasses, I could tell her was trying to think what to say next. He was probably stuck on words right now. Or was he trying to make me realize what he meant without words?

Whatever it was though, he took his glasses off, set them on the counter, pushed his cup away and folded his arms on the counter. This – was a really strange maneuver coming from my dad. Like, it seemed extremely confident.

“I-I´ve…” Exactly. Confident for a second, stuttering the next. “You see, Megan. Lately, since around the start of the year, you seemed to have changed a little… More than a little. And I´m not the only one who´s noticed that part… but that´s not what I want to discuss.”

Well, this is starting to become a serious conversation then… I mean, every time my dad attempted to do one he´d always fail. Plus it´s not like I´d try to nurture it either so that it´d go on and on…. I could just leave right now as well, using ´studying´ as an excuse… But I think he had a point here, plus he was making the effort to speak so…

Maybe staying here was the considerate thing? And… I have to admit it. It had to do with Zoë so whatever it was he was thinking – I wanted to know.

I leaned against the fridge and regarded my dad. “Right.”

His eyes went slightly wide in surprise that I´d stay to talk to him but he quickly returned to speaking before losing the nerve for it. “Um… well… You and Zoë have become really good friends right? And that´s fine … She´s made you play in public more often… you go to her house often as well… you guys go together to school…”

As he said these things, my dad´s eyes wandered down from his hands to my eyes and to the ceiling. Personally, other than his voice, I could tell how silent everything else was… which made all of this so incredibly awkward that I actually noticed what was going on....

He´s asking me about my relationship with Zoë. Or at least, trying to inform himself.

…

..

.

Okay, my two options right now were either to avoid this or confront it… Neither were really pleasant because that´d just give everything away…

But it´s not like I´m hiding it right?

I´ve never really hid it…

And it´s not like I personally have any problems with it either right?

I mean, I´m fine with me… being a lesbian… and being with a girl…

But would my dad accept it? Would he say that it´s wrong?

… Well, I´ve gone over that with Zoë and I said he´d be neutral about it… He wouldn´t say it´s wrong… I mean, honestly, in this house norms of society don´t seem to really be that strong... There´s no real moral implications that really oppress around here.

Wow, in a sense, my family is just like Zoë´s… only that we´re not as lively as they are.

I´m not too sure how I reached to that conclusion, or whether my reasoning was correct and functioning well. Yet, that´s the reason why I pushed myself off from the fridge, walked to the kitchen island so that I stood directly across my dad.

I set my forearms on the counter, leaned forward, stared directly at his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Don´t worry.”

He gulped and stared at me back. “I´m not.”

I smiled, feeling like he knew what I meant but also feeling like it was necessary for one of us to say it aloud. “Then don´t complicate yourself dad.”

“I just want to make sure.” He said as he somehow followed my string of thought. “I want to know what´s going on with my daughter… and her girlfriend.”

There. He said it.

That was quick.

I pushed my glasses over the bridge of my nose and smirked slightly. My dad suddenly blushed, noticing that he´d said it. Not me.

It was almost funny enough for me to crack up laughing, but I didn´t in respect to the moment of embarrassment. He for saying it, me for realizing right after that somehow I had just ´come out of the closet´ to him. If there was any closet to come out of… since I really feel like this is normal. I guess the issue for me here is for my dad to officially know that I have a girlfriend… that it´s Zoë to be specific.

Then a thought occurred to me. “Does mom know anything?”

“I don´t think so.” My dad said with his hands still covering his face. “She probably won´t notice unless…”

“Unless we do something in front of her…” I finished…

Well, not like it´s necessary is it?

My eyes went to the clock on my dad´s wrist and noticing what time it was I realized that I´d been down here for too long. I had to plan my studying schedule, write it down, and organize the stuff I was going to use for the weekend…

I stood up straight and grabbed the milk carton I had left next to the fridge. I threw it away in the bin and turned to my dad he was staring at me. It only took a second and then we looked away simultaneously. Not because it was awkward (well, maybe a little) but because we´d finished a conversation already so there was no need to continue…

Man… who would’ve thought? I JUST finished a conversation about my personal life with my dad… around 3 months ago, I wouldn’t have done that at all… I guess things really have changed in all sorts of ways.

I heard my dad go off the stool when I was getting the last milk carton from the back of the fridge and put it on the side, where it was supposed to be. I closed the fridge and started to make my way to my room.

Just then, when I was about to step into the living room my dad decided to say one last thing which made me blush enough that I could only cool down once I was alone in my room.

“You two look good together.” He called out to me. “I’m happy for you.”