Klaude (Octavius Sequel)

nineteen | fractured

The sight of her violet eyes opening filled my lungs with air and my body with blood and I spring over to Pilar's side, grasping her freezing cold hands in my burning ones. 

I don't realize that I'm crying until a tear lands on her porcelain cheek and I wipe it away softly. 

"Hi." I whisper to her, holding her cheek in my hand. She's so small, so fragile. So perfect. And so unbelievably terrifying. 

"Hi." She responds, the word just air whistling from between her lips like a breath of wind. 

"You're okay." I say, more to myself than to her. "You're here, you're alive, you're okay, you're okay." I repeat too many times, but I need to know that this isn't a dream. 

Because recently my life has felt like a nightmare and a blissful dream all mashed and mixed into one large mess.

"What happened?" She whispers, so so softly. 

I sit up, and stare at her in disbelief. 

"Do you not remember anything?"

She just shakes her head slightly. 

"Oh god." Mutter, letting go of her hand and placing my head in my palms. 

How the hell am I going to tell her that I found her sitting outside, nearly split in half? How she couldn't respond, and how she was chanting something I couldn't even understand? 

A weight returns to my shoulders. Reality pops my perfect, blissful bubble. 

"Pilar, I found you outside. Your eyes had glossed over like ice. You wouldn't or couldn't respond to me, and you started to chant this...this thing..I don't even know how to describe it. And when I looked down at you-" 

My voice catches in my throat but I force down the bile that begins to crawl up to my mouth. 

"-You had a gash along your stomach, it was so deep, but you didn't seem to feel anything or know what was going on. You weren't responding and I didn't know what to do and I still don't know what to do." 

I'm rambling but I can't stop.

"I have no idea what's going on Pilar and I need answers. I can't keep finding you like this and being completely clueless as to what the actual hell is going on. I need to know everything. Right now."

I freeze, suddenly aware of the fact that I'm on my feet, pacing back and forth like a mad man. Pilar's eyes are wide, her pupils so small that they almost disappear in the sea of lilac that surrounds them. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice." I shudder, slumping back down into my seat and placing my head in my hands. 

"Klaude." I don't look up at the sound of my name, knowing that my pale face is now blushing red from anger and confusion. 

"Come here." I look up and see that Pilar has sat up, and scooted over so that a space is open on her hospital bed. 

I stare at her for a moment, and her eyes are filled with an innocence that I can't believe and it melts my heart and breaks it at the very same time. 

Without a word, I stand up, and settle down gently on the bed. Even though she moved over, there isn't nearly enough space for me, and so I lift her up softly, feeling as if she could shatter at any moment. She settles into me, half in my lap and half in my arms, her head cradled at the crook of my neck. 

I inhale deeply, and the smell of lavender and vanilla surrounds me and I growl in content. The feeling of her skin against mine has a calming affect unlike any tranquilizer. She's cold, and I wrap one arm around her waist and another around her thin legs. She's so thin, unhealthily so. But I can tell from the curves of her bones that with healthy diet, she'd be perfect. She's already perfect. She could be nothing but bones and flesh and she'd still glow like an angel in front of me. 

Because she's mine. 

Her soft breathes blow against the skin of my neck, raising the hairs on the back of it and sending a trail of shivers down my arms. It's addictive. 

She shifts in my arms, attempting to get more comfortable, and her soft lips brush against the hollow beneath my jaw and I freeze. 

Breath, Klaude. Breath. 

"Are you asleep?" I ask, my voice coming out hoarse and crackling. 

"No." She answers softly, curling against me even further. 

I look down at her stomach, wrapped in a clean white bandage. 

Clean. 

But my mind flashes back to the images of her bleeding skin and how her crimson blood painted the snow like a dying canvas. 

My grip on her tightens and she squeals slightly. 

"Sorry." I whisper. 

"It's okay, I deserved it." She whispers back and I grow cold. 

"What?" I say, pulling my head away and looking down at her. She frowns in confusion. 

"I did something wrong. I hurt you by hurting myself. I deserve a consequence." 

"What?" I ask, incredulously. I pick her up from my lap, and set her in front of me. "Did Hector punish you before? For things like this?" My voice has grown cold and dangerous and I remind myself that I can't scare her away again. I need her to trust me. 

"The things you said that happened," She says, wringing her hands together nervously. "That was the punishment." 

My heart stops. 

"You- you think that I did that to you?" I can no longer control my voice, which has risen dangerously. 

"Yes." She says, and her tone is so matter-of-fact that I don't know whether I'm more furious or shocked. 

"Pilar, listen to me." I say, placing my hand on either side of her face. "I will never ever hurt you like that. That would kill me. You never deserve pain or suffering, especially not from me. Don't ever think that." 

She just stares at me, frowning slightly. Her vibrant irises scan mine for something, I don't know. 

"Why? That is how the world goes around. Woman is property of man, Man is owner of woman." 

"Pilar." I start, fighting to keep my voice calm. "That is not how the world works. That was how Hector worked. Women do not belong to anyone. Hector is evil. When I say you're mine it means that I am also yours. I will never harm you. No matter what you do. You could kill everyone I know and I wouldn't hurt a hair on your beautiful head." 

And a tear rolls down her cheek, and I brush it away, causing her to lean into my hold. Her eyes are closed and her long lashes brush against my palm. 

She's so broken. So unbelievably fractured. 

I pull her towards me so she's cradled in my lap, my forehead against her's. Her eyes are still closed and I yearn for them to open. As if she reads my mind, her lashes flutter upwards, revealing the eyes that I could stare at until I grew old. 

"I'm going to kill Hector for hurting you. And that is a promise." I whisper, and my lips are so close to her's, so dangerously close. My control is hanging by a thread. 

"Okay?" I whisper. 

She looks up at my eyes and down to my lips, and I grind my back teeth. 

"Okay." She responds so unbelievably softly, and as she speaks, her lips brush oh so slightly against mine. 

And the thread snaps. 

And I'm kissing her. 

Oh god. 

Her lips are softer than sunlight as they press against mine. But I want more. I weave one hand in her hair, holding her to me, and another around her waist, so small and gentle. 

My blood is hot and she's ice and I can feel her melting against me. 

She pulls away, gasping for breath. A blush is crawling against her skin and I can't help but smile. 

"Thank you." I whisper. 

"For what?" 

"Letting me find you."