ALL THAT WAS LEFT BEHIND

Epilogue

My father crept up behind me, watching me stare at the walls. I couldn’t be sure if I wanted to stay sealed in the walls that held so much past, and I wasn’t sure if he did either.

            He tousled his freshly cut hair, leaving it sticking up in odd places. He smiled, and outreached his hand towards me.

            I grasped it, the cold, but firm hand in my own, warming my soul. He nodded, and pulled me to my feet.

            “Let’s just forget about this for awhile,” he murmured.

Snow cascaded down from the sky, like tiny falling angels, slowly plummeting to the earth. They landed on the cold ground in fluffy thick piles, hardened by our feet. It was a new world in front of us, a fresh one, pure with the glistening white of the earth. It caused for a new beginning.

            My tiny flat shoes did nothing to keep the icy chill from leaking into my feet, numbing them until nothing could be felt. My father guided me to the little cab, and opened the door for me to climb inside. He slide in beside me in the back seat, and gave the directions to the driver.

            The taxi cab driver sped along, attempting to make small talk on the weather, but we had no desire to partake in it. We wanted to soak it in, and to feel it in our minds, not dwell on the thoughts with meaningless conversation.

            Out the windows, snow padded the sidewalks with a glorious glow, and it brought life to my eyes. I watched it form and thicken as we rolled along.

            Thoughts of Terrance and Sherry began to form at the back of my mind. Their horrified faces bled into my vision, and their frantic ramblings. And Willa, and her undying love. I thought of Claire and Doug, and their solemn looks of acceptance, and disbelief when their son walked into the room. All the people who have done such good in the world will not be taken by the hands of evil, or depression. They will be to get back at, but not just at that moment. This moment was ours.

Stepping out into the wonderland of broken dreams and a cold essence of swirling solemn wind, we simply walked.

            The orange dress twirled around my legs as I carefully trudged through the snow, with my father darkly trailed behind in a silent state. I felt so bright in such a black and white world. A black and white world where I was a small little girl of sunshine, attempting to spread my curious love of curiousness.

            We walked through the snow for what seemed like an eternity, although we were in a field of eternity. A long, stretching field of endless, eternity to be accepted. The snow clustered around my tiny flats, piling up on my feet. I no longer felt the cold in my feet, or the terribly intense chill in my body as the snow continued to fall from the sky. I only felt it piling slowly in my heart.

            Then, we were there.

            I stopped and stared down at it for a few moments of pure silence.

            I looked up at my father, whose face was as blank and cold as a slab of slate.

            I looked up at the sky, where I could see countless flakes of snow tumble and dance in the air, slowly cascading down on my face. They performed a perfect recital before the few tall pines, and before the open grey endless sky.

            My father fell to the ground, his knees crashing on the hard light snow. He sat there like that, staring at the stone in front of us, holding back an immense wave of brackish tears. I sat down beside him, my bare legs on top of the fluffy snow as I leaned in. I breathed it in, the precarious scent.

            An eternity later, he stepped back, not bothering to wipe the snowy mess off his black slacks. From his pocket, he pulled out a cluster of broken flowers.   He slowly passed one to me, and put the first right before the stone.

            I smiled, and nodded, placing the queen Ann’s lace beside his.

            I looked up at him, snowflakes collecting on his lashes, as mine did. He smiled, carefully and slightly, as if not to break a delicate veil of silence. He helped me up, and dusted off the snow from the bottom of the orange dress.

            And I hugged him. He swung an arm around my shoulder, rubbing my back while looking deep into the snow.

            I often wasn’t sure of what to think of the world, or of different people who have affected my life so surely. All these people and all these things left tattoos on my skin, and in my memory, to never fade away.

            I only wished that there was something I could do about it, before things changed too drastically.

            These poor minds, too distant to be understood. Looking up at the sky, I knew that without comprehension, there must be nothing.

            My father lifted his face, and in his unmoving eyes, I knew that we had to get going. Before the past caught hooked onto us.