sad and sensual girls club

behind the scenes

you were a behind the scenes lover, only told me you loved me right before we went on stage, then you'd kill me in scene 1

i loved you dearly, god i would've put your name in a big marquee sign with big flashing lights

but you, you would laugh at the sound of my name during the curtain call and spit on my hollywood star after you've had one too many drinks at the afterparty and tell the cast how i'm not cut out for the role.

and you'd come to apologize to me after you've sobered up and we were alone on the boulevard where we first got coffee, of course with nobody knowing or nobody around,

you were an intense love, one my heart could not fathom. i was too young to have such a starring role and have you play your dark twisted games off and on the stage.

i was the new teen star to the set and you knew exactly what you wanted, "ME" you wanted,

but not for anyones eyes or ears to know. i was your mistress even when the other beautiful women you "loved" left the show, i was your secretive little girl. 

so stupid,so so stupid. why was i so stupid for loving you? for loving you more than myself, when you couldn't even tell the tabloids i was yours...