Heaven

Hope

I sit down at one of the benches and stare out at the sky, the clouds still covering the blue sky. I glance around and notice families everywhere. That's one thing that always bothered me, the what ifs.

What if my father never left? Would that have saved my mom? What if my mom didn't kill herself? Would that mean I would never have been sent to the orphanage? What if the Rae's never adopted me? Would that mean I would have never met Ben?

I hated when my head did this to me, it would put my brain on overdrive and fry my head.

"I can literally see the wheels turning in that head of yours. God not answering your prayers?"

The familiar deep voice causing shivers to run through my spine, its been a week since we last talked, he just kind of appears in my life when he wants. He still hasn't made his debut at our school, yet everyone's waiting for it.

I glance up at him, "What is it with you and all of your God remarks?" I retort back, moving my gaze back to the ocean.

He took a seat next to me on the bench, keeping some distance between us, as if he really believed I was scared of him. I roll my eyes and lean back, "What can I do for you Ben?" I ask and he looked over at me.

"How old are you?" He asks and I raise an eyebrow while staring at him.

A smile makes its way to my face, "Sixteen." I say, he snorts.

"That explains the innocence and how your so naïve." I glare at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

I shook my head and sipped away at my coffee, "What's you're favorite color?" He asked and I looked over at him sharply.

I chew my bottom lip and rip my gaze away from him, "Its the pink color the sky turns whenever its an early morning sunrise or late sunset." I answer, not looking at him.

He was a murderer, but he looked like a normal guy, he even talked like normal guys. There were no red flags going off in my head when he was around and it was concerning.

Maybe I was going completely insane, maybe being around Ben brought out my inner crazy that needed to be buried deep down, "I feel the worst when I'm alone, that's when the monsters in my head say hello," I whisper, my fingers tightening around my coffee.

I felt his cold stare on me and gulped, it was hard being under his eyes. I didn't know much about him, just the things I've heard from the towns people. Maybe they were mistaken, maybe there was another side to Benjamin Fisher and if so I'd like to witness it.

There's a little bit of darkness in everyone, some just let it consume them while others fight it, and honestly I'm getting pretty tired of always fighting it.

"They say the captain goes down with the ship, so when the world ends, will God go down with it?" He asks, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up.

I break and look over at him, my eyes scanning across his perfectly sculpted face all the way to his soulless eyes, "You believe in God I presume?  From all the comments you make about him," I state.

He chuckled and there was something about the sound that made my heart race faster, "I believe that there is a higher power, but I do not believe in something completely," Was his answer.

We sat there is silence and I couldn't help but smile to myself, it was calming from the chaotic world around us, and as time passed on we just sat there and watched the waves build and the sky darken. He never made a move to leave and neither did I, I think perhaps we just needed each others company.

"I hope this doesn't turn out bad," I mumble and suck in a breath when his eyes caught mine.

He brought a hand through his dark hair, "It always does with me." He stated coldly.

"We'll see." I retort and we fall into another silence, every so often I would feel him looking at me.

Finally it was time for me to get home, the moon was out and it was dark and cold. Ben followed my movements and stood next to me, "I'll walk you home," He says and frowns when I stand there quietly, trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

He slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around me, causing my body to tense at first, I wasn't use to kind gestures. Growing up in the orphanage you had to take care of yourself, you didn't have time to worry about others.

We walk side by side in complete darkness, my heart was beating so hard I'm surprised it didn't jump out of my chest, "Are you scared?" He asked and I shook my head, stepping closer to him.

"Not of you, but the dark," I whisper and he seemed to move closer, I was surprised by him, he was the opposite of what I thought he was. I thought he was a stone cold killer but than I realized, everyone has a heart, even if their the most terrible person in the world they still have a heart beating inside them, keeping them alive for whatever journey God has for them.

Maybe I've already been spending enough time with Ben because his God theories were now rubbing off on me.

"Those eyes of yours could swallow stars, galaxies and universes. What hope did I ever have?"