Valiant

Chapter 37: Homecoming

The rest of the journey flies by in a blur, as I halfheartedly urge the mare northeast along the River Castellan. The bulk of my mind is a wreck of fear, confusion, and terrible, gut-wrenching despair from my vision with the Jaandar.

Some place deep inside me is at war with itself. It couldn't possibly have been real; it must have been a dream. And yet it and its effects are easily more tangible than any dream I'd had before. My left palm will not stop tingling, and upon inspection, the once-cold light burns forth with a ghostly, flickering glare- Ruby where it once was ice colored.

But how can I accept that Rydir is my real father? I mean, I am nothing at all like him! Then Rydir's words come back to me in a flash. "You remind me of who I was when I was younger." Wrestling back and forth, I finally give up and push my thoughts out of my head, favoring a bleak, grayish ocean of solitude and silence in hopes of gathering some semblance of peace.

After a while, I turn my thoughts to Lilly, and instantly a light smile touches my lips. What would she say to my being so absorbed in fear and doubt? And then I know. She'd tell me to be a man, and then laugh and apologize.

Suddenly, I look up, and find myself staring directly at a large tooth of stone jutting defiantly into the dusk sky. Excitement washes everything away, flooding me with energy and temporary confidence. The mare beneath me seems to sense this change, and sets off at a gallop so swift that I can hardly hold on. Before the sun falls completely behind the horizon, we have arrived at the gates of the Vale of Castellan. Withdrawing my things, I slap the mare on the rear, and she trots tiredly into the fields of grass surrounding the Vale. I will have to go on foot from here.

The guards at the top of the gate never look down at me as I walk by them. Both are absorbed in an argument involving a horse, a rusty chain, and a pregnant daughter from the sounds of it. But now I am inside the town. I pull the cowl tight over my head as I glide stiffly toward Orik's bar, hoping that I don't pass anyone that would recognize me.

My pace is steady, but my breathing is not as I stand before the door of the building. Memories weave in and out of the place like a gigantic, homely tapestry. I realize that I had not seen Orik for over a month, and that I didn't leave on good terms. My muscles clench for a second as I place my hand on the scarred, wooden door, but then I follow through with the push and enter the bar.

It is exactly how I remembered it, with its bright shields adorning the walls and the bar snaking across the back of the room. Orik stands behind the bar, serving ale to a few customers by the pitcher, and then his black eyes find me.

At first, he is confused. Then, he calmly tears off his apron and walks around the bar towards the kitchen, and I follow, wading through curious glances and sweaty people to where Orik waits.

"Look," I begin, choking on dregs of bitterness. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't ha-" But then, he surrounds me in his hairy, meaty arms, crushing the words right out of me.

"I've missed you so much, child," he croaks. "When I heard Isaac was dead, I thought... I thought... Where the hell were you?! And why do you look so pale?" he asks suddenly, pulling away from me and wiping his nose.

"I was imprisoned. This town is no longer safe for me, and I can't stay long. There is no time to explain, although I wish I could. Do you know what has become of Lilly?"

He straightens up and looks at me strangely. "She has been married to Richard Hodgeson, and now stays in the castle. That's all I can tell you."

As I turn to leave the bar, his meaty palm grips my shoulder and his voice finds me again. "Wait! before you go, there is something Isaac wanted you to have. Meet me back here at dawn."