To the boy I once loved

e i g h t e e n

Dear Jason, 

     To be honest with you, I didn't know how long I was going to be writing these letters, but I guess there probably going to end soon. How do I say this? Or even write this? I have cancer. I know what you're thinking. Why don't I just do chemo? Well, I don't want there's not point in living if I'm not wanted in life. Either way, I'm going to die. I need a heart donor for this cancer I have, but I don't want anyone to donate their heart to a girl whose going to have it broken again. Ah life is hard, Jason, you see. No one is perfect. I try yet I fail. I'm going to die. My parents don't care about; all they care about is their new girlfriend and boyfriend. Why does my life always turn out horrible, yet I still love you every single day. Maybe loving you is killing me. I don't know anymore. I guess some people are right, people try to fit in too much and act like someone they're not. I can't act like this anymore. I just can't. I might not have said this before, but I try. I've tried wearing dresses, shorts, crop tops, and heels just to get you to notice me. Thinking that everyone would like me then. Maybe I'd have other friends than Tyler, but that's not what happened. I was judged, called desperate, and a slut. I guess I tried to hard to impress people with being someone else then just being myself. I need to rest now; I'm probably crying myself to sleep, but whatever. Goodnight :((((( 

                                                                          Love the dying girl that never had a chance,

                                                                                                         Bella </3