Tales Of Sadness (Editing)

My Battle with Bipolar Depression

Warning: Please no one like, comment or feel bad for me. I have been lying to myself that I could be normal that I am normal and I don't know anymore I just can't take this bullshit anymore. This goddamn world is just evil and blood floods these streets, words pull the triggers or kicks the chair or takes the blade and kills the lives of the young and I just can't take this shit.

Hai, my names Sameeria Curry and here's my confessions
I'm 14 years old and was diagnosed with Major depression, Bipolar, paranoia, anxiety, PTSD, and other mental illnesses and I've known about this for 4 or 5 years but never told my mom or anybody but a few friends because I didn't want to be treated any differently then the way I already was
No unlike other people this just didn't happen because of bullying and insecurities (No offense no should go through that beauty is a natural thing not bought in a store or give from doctors. Beauty is all personality not looks) but they were part of it
I was traumatized when I was 9 or 10 I don't remember the exact age from then nor my little sister's but my mom and dad would argue a lot and it would scare my and my little sister until one day my sister had been sick and refused to take her medicine and my mom gave up and my dad got home from work and I don't know why but when my mom told my dad that she didn't care about my little sister he flipped
I grabbed my little sister and took her in another room and covered her ears and something told me to go into that room so I did and I was frozen on the spot, I couldn't move

When it all stopped and the police came the asked me questions about what happened but I couldn't remember the lady looked at me with pity and I hated it. The next day I didn't go to school and I broke down. I screamed and cried and destroyed all the rooms until my cousin Jazzmyne came home and found me in the room my parents fought in hugging my moms dress crying and whispering how sorry I was that I just sat back and let that happen to her. A week later I told my cousin I was ok enough to go back to school which I wasn't I just wanted to feel as normal as possible and when I went back to school I walked straight to the consulars office and told her everything and how I felt and she said to just come to her everyday for lunch and after school. So about 2 weeks I've been going to her and all until I finally asked her what was wrong with me and she said I had major depression and other things. I felt more like a freak walking everywhere since I was bullied for having have a hearing problem, due to a big ball of wax in my ear blocking my eardrum and if doctors try to move them there could be a possibility of me becoming deaf. Everyday I had on this mask showing that I was the same old me but really I just wanted to die. Did all my work like I always did, talked and laughed like I always did, I even said my use comebacks to my bullies, but it all felt like lies. I played this new persona until the summer of 6th grade, I couldn't take it anymore and was going insane and my mental health was horrible. Everything that was wrong with me showed it's true colors. I didn't go outside until either my girlfriend got me or rain clouds blocked the sun. I truly didn't want to talk, hang out or be around anyone. Everyday I would be sitting in front of on of the windows in the living room with it opened and listen to music out loud or with heard phones singing out the window drawing looking at the woods in the back of the apartment my mom was living in. Until on day I broke up with my girlfriend and I was home alone and was about to end my life until my mom came in and took my blade and gave me and antidepressant and told me to take a nap. All that summer I didn't leave that room I only at granola bars and drunk coffee.

7th grade I was feeling better I was being myself again but not my old self but a new me. A my best friends especially (EmilyLove2002 I love you weirdo) and I was just crazy. I didn't let anyone run over me, I yelled at a teacher, I can out the closet and told my friends and mom that I was bisexual, I played dirty games, I in fact made a dirty game, I was smoked and drank a little, I was a chill laid back person which is who I am now. I enjoy reading and writing and watching anime or dramas on Netflix eating pizza or cookies and drawing and creeping people out. I enjoy being weird and I don't care what people say about me now because I am me and you can't take that way from me. I've been through a war with myself, I've kept lies and secrets but not anymore. 11 days I've not once picked up a blade. 11 days I've not lost me mind. 11 days I've not once wanted to relapse again. Thank you, you beautiful people who read my stories and read about my side of the story on my life and for read about a HUGE weight that has been on my shoulders and I promise I'm ok. I'm just tired I guess of my life and the people around me lives are crap, so if you want like, comment, hell share and have other people read it I don't care anymore I know it's my story but not anymore. This was an anchor that kept me drowning in my depression and now I feel lighter.

Love,
Giuseppe, aka maddhatter