The Dream that Scarred

I'm Sorry Cipher

Ow. Blood. Pain. Sorrow. Fear.

Things I was getting all to used to. He threw me against the wall repeatedly until there was blood.

"Not so fun is it kid. Look at the mess you've made of this room, be a pet and clean it up" Bill walked over to me and lifted my face up by the chin with the end of his cane. He looked into my eyes with so much hatred.

I don't understand why he is taking enjoyment out of this. What I did was an accident and I left because his brother was giving me no choice. It's become a repetitive cycle:
=> Abuse
=> Blood
=> Cleaning
And repeat.

"Bill, please I'm sorry." THUD! "I never meant to hurt you" THUD! "Bill please! I know you, you're not a bad person!" I break down crying as he throws me against the wall again but this time causing the room to shake and glass to shatter.

I screamed like I never have before, I've never been so scared than in this moment. "Bill please listen to me, I'm sorry, I know I'm a terrible person"

"You're not a person, you're a monster, a demon"

"And so are you! This isn't fair, please, I'm sorry Cipher"

"Don't even bother wasting your breathe by saying sorry, I would rather you were honest about your intentions"

"Please let me say something Bill. One last thing and you can do what you want with me, kill me if you want to"

He took a moment to think and sighed under his breathe. He looked at me with regret but I was finally allowed time to speak without being thrown about the room.

"Look. I understand if you hate me. I don't know what's happening to me and I was scared but I didn't think I was capable of causing you pain. I never meant to hurt you. I'm not like that. I understand if you will never care for me again but if you're going to do anything to take your revenge I would rather you just ended it for me. If I'm going to be left immortal in this world to watch my friends and family die naturally by myself then it's not worth living. This is my complex way of telling you how I feel. Bill I love you and never have stopped caring about you. You're still perfect to me!"

I paused to see how he was reacting, so far he was listening so I decided to continue. I swear for a second though that I saw his one visible eye begin to tear up so I know that my Bill, my kind, caring, fun-loving Bill was still in the emotionless shell of a body that was stood in front of me.

"In the time that we were away from each other my health went flying out the window, and because of that I am sick. I am brought to tears with the fact that I hurt you. And if you want to cut me out of your life because you don't trust me that's fine"

I started to cry... Again. I cry so much but that's fine, it only means that I am open with my emotions, if I'm not it usually means something is wrong. I looked up at Bill to realise that his appearance changed. He was back to being himself... My Bill Cipher was back...

"Dipper..."

"If there is anything you want me to do, or if there is anything I can do to fix this please tell me."

I jumped as I felt warm arms wrap around my shoulders... In all honesty, this is what I missed the most. Comfort. While Mabel did a great job, and I am grateful that she was there for me, I don't know I just feel safe with Bill even though he took revenge on me.

"I'm sorry too Pinetree but you know what I'm like when I'm mad."

"It was an accident I didn-"

"It wasn't you I was mad at Pines, I was angry with myself... And I took it out on you and I'm sorry"

"You don't have to apologise Bill. It's not your fault. It was mine and I'm willing to take 100% of the blame."

He hugged me tighter and kissed me on the head. "Ow! Glob globbin'!"

Bill jumped back and looked me up and down with a sorrowful look in his eyes. He then glanced around the room. "Oh. Right, erm... Let's get you cleaned up and in bed, I'll deal with everything else"

I went up the stairs and sat waiting in the bathroom. It wasn't too long before Bill arrived with a basic first aid kit and some warm damp towels. He sat me on the edge of the bathtub and brought over a stool for himself. No words were exchanged so there was a silence. It wasn't uncomfortable though. I personally was just grateful to have him back. I have never seen that side of him before, although when I basically promised my soul to him he did technically kill my friends but things have changed, he changed. He had someone to share his life with, he was no longer alone.

I hissed as I was brought back from my thoughts, snapped back to reality, I pulled on the sleeve of Bill's shirt as he yanked a piece of razor sharp glass from my upper arm. It started to bleed viciously and he dabbed it with a towel and sewed my arm back up. It took about an hour but I washed all the blood that I had lost off of my body, most of it from my head. Bill stitched me back up and covered up my wounds.

After the events of the day I physically couldn't move and was feeling quite sleepy so Bill picked me up bridal style and carried me to my bed. He put me down and pulled the duvet over me. He made sure I was as comfortable as I was going to get with the amount of pain I was in. He lied down beside me and started to play with my hair, making me incredibly sleepy. I nuzzled closer to his chest to keep myself warm and I slowly fell unconscious to the sound of his heart beating.

The heart in which he opened himself to me with again.