I sit in the lounge room, waiting anxiously. Xavier is picking up my mother from the airport, we had told them about everything that has happened and my mother insisted she comes down to help us make the decision. But I think I know what I want to do.
My palms become sweaty as I wait for my mum and my fiancé. I'm now twenty-two weeks pregnant so my hormones are raging. I keep worrying for no reason.
I can feel more of the side effects of the tumour now too. It's hard to swallow solid food and it's only been three weeks since I was diagnosed.
I hear the front door, standing up I walk to it and open it before Xavier is able to unlock it. He gives me a weak smile and kisses my lips softly, I see my mother and the urge to cry becomes overwhelming. Mum wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, so my head is buried in her chest.
"It'll be okay sweetie." She whispers soothingly into my ear as she strokes my back.
After a few minutes of just standing there at the door, we move further into the house, shutting the door. Sally is in the kitchen making lunch, she is just as devastated as Xavier and I about all of this and she seems to cook a lot when she is upset.
We sit down I the living room, Sally putting the food down and sitting with us. I pick at a sandwich but no one really eats anything, all of us have knots in our stomachs from this whole ordeal.
"Have you figured out what you would like to do?" My mum asks the pair of us.
Xavier takes hold of my hand and gives it a light squeeze. Trying to comfort me.
"Yeah." Xavier says.
"What's the idea?" Mum asks.
"Well, we want to wait to have the surgery until I'm twenty-five weeks because the chances of a premature baby surviving is higher at twenty-five weeks. So if I get the operation and she starts to go into distress, they will do a C-section so we don't lose her." I say softly.
My mum nods her head, three weeks time I will have the surgery. Three weeks time and I may be a mother to a premature little girl. The idea frightens me, having my girl before she is due, but at the same time, the idea of losing her all together frightens me more.
I don't want to lose her and I don't want to die. I mean, I know if I lose her we can try again and have more kids but, even if she hasn't been born yet, she's alive, I feel her kick, I can feel when she has the hiccups, when she turns to sleep, she is a being inside me, I feel her, if I lose her, I'll lose a part of myself and I'm not ready to just give up without fighting for my girl.
"Okay, so have you spoken to the doctors about this?" Mum asks.
"Yes, they are all for it. They say the tumour isn't too big that she is in any immediate danger and we are going in every week to see the growth of the tumour." Xavier chimes in.
My mum nods and then wraps her arms around me, holding me to her. She's obviously afraid of losing her daughter and her granddaughter.
"It'll all work out the way it's mean to." My mum says soothingly, the only thing is, we don't know which way it's meant to work out.
After we have the conversation out of the way, we start to actually eat the food Sally prepared. After we have all eaten, we watch a movie in the living room, all four of us, my mother and Sally chatting quietly to each other on the couch while I sit on Xavier's lap, his arms comfortably around my waist as he holds me to him.
"I love you." I whisper softly as I cup his cheeks and look into his eyes. She gives me that breathtaking smile of his and leans forward, kissing my lips slowly.
"I love you too." He murmurs with his forehead on mine. I sigh.
"I'm sorry this is happening, we've waited so long for this with each other and now, everything has taken a turn for the worse." Xavier sighs and gives me a lighthearted smile.
"Baby, every relationship faces hardship, yeah it's early on and it sucks but that's life. You don't have to apologise for life being a bitch." I smile with a small laugh escaping my lips at the way he phrased that.
"You're too good for me." I murmur before kissing him more deeply, my hand caressing his stubble covered cheek as I fight for dominance over the kiss.
"Keep it PG you two." I hear my mum warn, causing us to stop kissing and just blush while smiling at each other.
"Imagine what I have to deal with." I hear Sally say. I turn to her and pout, she just smirks and winks.
"So would you like to go for a walk?" Xavier asks as we sit outside the back with the pups.
"Yeah, sounds good I'll talk to mum and Sally see if they'd like to come." He nods his head.
"Yeah we can have dinner out if it pleases us." I smile and nod.
"Promise me something." I say softly.
"Anything?" He asks.
"Promise me you will never smoke again." He gives a sad smile and nods his head. He leans in and kisses me.
"I promise...never again." I nod my head and lean my head on his shoulder, looking out as the puppies play.
We walk back inside, letting mum and Sally know about the plans for dinner. They both agree to it and start to get ready.
"I love you." Xavier says randomly as I get changed.
"You're a weird one, but I look you too." I say with a smile. Xavier chuckles and moves closer to me, wrapping his arms around me.
"Maybe when we get back from dinner we can have a shower together." Xavier murmurs huskily before he starts to place kisses along my neck and collar bone. I involuntarily moan.
"Sounds like a plan." I whisper back.
He chuckles and kisses my cheek before letting me finish getting ready. Xavier is wearing a light blue blouse, a navy blue tie with matching suit pants. I smile at him, how is it that he can look so ravishing. I get changed into a. Nice light green dress up top and black pants.
"How is it that you always look so sexy." Xavier asks as he watches me get dressed, this hunger in his eyes as he does.
"I don't know." I say with a smirk as I do my hair.
We walk out together toward mum and Sally who are waiting in the living room. Xavier grabs his keys to his Chevy, a car he hasn't used in a while. We get in and drive toward the main city, where all the restaurants are.
Xavier is in a love hate relationship with his family title. When he says his name, most places know who is instantly so he gets in to places that are booked out, without making a booking which he loves, but he also hates it because he doesn't think he should be allowed to just get int due to his name.
"Where to?" I ask.
"Italian?" He asks. I smile and nod as he takes my hand when he isn't changing gears.
We get to the small Italian restaurant and get a table fairly quickly. The place is very homey, table clothes on each table with cutlery, and a menu.
This is just what I needed, a night out with some of the people I love the most, to keep my mind off what is to come.
YOU ARE READING
We're Older Now
Romance"I want to set you up on a date with a mate of mine" I frown and look up at him. "I don't want to go on a date with one of your friends" He cocks his head to the side and stares into my eyes with his brown eyes. "Why not?" I can feel my heart beat...
