The Big Five

34. Dilemma

"So," Eric broke the silence, "what's bothering you?"

I was startled by his question. I pondered on it before I finally told him.

"Jo--ahem, Eric," I silently cursed myself for almost calling him Joey, "you know, this game is so exhausting. Can't we just forget about it? I mean, we have lives. What are we doing, wasting our time trying to win a stupid game that...well, that has more losses than it has benefits?"

He turned on the car lights, and looked me in the eye.

He sighed. "Well, I guess I should tell you. I was out of the game anyway."

That puzzled me. What was he talking about?

"I found my mom," he said before I could ask anything.

At first, I gawked at him, trying to process what he said. When it clicked, I let out a small shout.

"You did? That's great! Where is she? Is she well?"

"She's fine."

I was surprised at his lack of enthusiasm. Wasn't he glad he found his mother?

"Are you going to go to her? I mean, you did say your dad forced you to stay...your mom wanted to take you, didn't she? You could--"

"Nicole," he said with a sudden hardness in his voice. I stopped talking.

"She's married," he said. "And she's had two kids."

"Oh," I whispered. That explained it. If Eric went to her now, he would be a stranger. He would be someone who's not part of their family. Even if they welcome him with open arms, he'd be different. An outsider.

He bumped his forehead on the steering wheel and sighed.

"Sorry," I said. I didn't know what to do. Heavy silence and tension filled the car. It was getting a little stuffy and I was getting a little uncomfortable. I never saw Eric lose his cool before. This was a very different situation and I didn't know what to do.

"E-Eric?" I said when I finally got the courage. I remembered all the times he helped me and became more confident. He helped me a lot and now, it was my turn.

I hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder.

"It...it's going to be all right," I assured. "She's your mother and no amount of separation is going to change the fact that she..." boy, was it awkward saying this, "that she loves you."

No response, but he relaxed.

"Give them a chance," I continued, trying to remember my mom's advice. "You don't know what they're like until you give them a chance. Be prepared for the worst, but don't let it stop you from seeing them. Your mother married him and stayed with him until she got two more kids and left your dad. That tells me that the guy she's with right now is a lot better than the guy you're living with."

I couldn't believe I was comforting him like this. If, at the beginning of eleventh grade, someone told me that I would be good friends with the Big Five, I would have laughed it off and bet on my own life that it would never happen. Life was funny like that. You never know what's ahead of you and sometimes, the most unexpected thing can happen.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard him laugh. It was a small laugh, but a laugh nevertheless.

"You know what," he said, getting off the steering wheel, "you have a way of convincing people. I'd bet you could even persuade Sam to become your slave, and that's saying something."

I giggled at that. Sam? Being persuaded? Nah. Not in a million years. He had a way of persuading others without them knowing. You could be thinking you were playing him, when in reality, he was playing you the whole time.

"So, are you going?" I asked.

He sighed. "I don't know, Pete. My dad's still my dad. After all these years, I don't know if I can just up and leave like this. Sure, I hate the guy, but...he's just..."

"I know what you mean," I said, thinking of my own dad. "You don't have to say."

Then I snorted. "Us and our dysfunctional families."

He laughed. "Yeah. They really can't give us a break."

I looked outside. The full moon was just visible. A few stars twinkled here and there. The wind blew and the trees shook. The car began to feel stuffy and I suddenly got the urge to get out.

"Hey, Eric?" I said as I took off my seatbelt.

"What?" He asked, watching me carefully.

I grinned. "I'm getting out. And you're welcome to join me."

He shrugged. "I'll pass."

"Ugh," I rolled my eyes. I got off the car and walked around to his side. Opening the door, I smiled at him mischievously.

"What I meant," I said, leaning over to take off his seatbelt, "is that I want you to get off."

I began to pull his arm when he grabbed my arm and jerked it towards him. I landed on him in full force.

"Ow," I said from the impact. I glared at him. "What did you do that for?"

I froze when I saw how close we were.

No, no, no. I'm supposed to end the game. This can't be happening.

My stupid hormones were going crazy and I found myself holding my breath. My heart was beating like mad.

"I know we're quitting the game," Eric said, his voice coming out as a whisper, "but...just this once. Let it happen just this once. Then we can pretend it never happened."

I gulped. Our noses were almost touching and this was a very uncomfortable position.

Just a little closer. No! What was I thinking?

But I already had my first kiss. What does another count? He did say we'd forget about it...

No! No! No!

Was I going mad? My mind was whirring and I was having such a dilemma that I didn't notice when our lips touched.

But I did notice all too soon. Instinctively, my eyes fluttered shut and I let my lips do the work.

I balled his shirt up in my hands and I felt him pull me in.

I forgot where we were. I forgot everything for a brief moment, and I was surprised at what relief it brought me.

When we finally pulled away, we were panting. My heart was racing and I swallowed several times.

"Y-you okay?" He asked.

At a loss for words, I merely nodded. Did I just do that? My head was spinning and I felt like I was dreaming.

I got out and went towards the grass. I needed to cool down. This wasn't good for me.

I heard the door close and footsteps approached. I felt his presence next to me, but I didn't dare look in his direction.

The crickets chirped loudly and I could hear an owl hooting from a distance.

"Nice day, huh?" He said.

I looked at the moon and sighed as peace began to settle in me. "Yeah. I guess you could say that."

All I knew right now was that I was regretting my decision to finish the game. And I was hating myself for it.
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I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I'm not really satisfied with it, so I might come back later and change some stuff. :/

Anyway, thanks for reading! :)