Alpha Derek

1

I cut through air, chasing the rabbit.

I have to catch it. I need to.

If I don't...

This is the second time, now, that something like this has occurred: starvation.

The first time was when I was ten. Immediately after I ran away. I had constantly been running for several hours—days? I don't remember.

All I remember is I was all by myself then. I had nobody. Seconds blended into minutes, minutes into hours and hours into several days. Days without feeding; without hunting.

First came disbelief, I couldn't process how my life had flipped around in a matter of few days.

Second came regret, followed by self loathing, how could have I run like a coward leaving all of them behind?

Then came remorse. A shit load of it.

I cried and whined and wished.

Sometimes, I still do. Though I've learned it's useless.

All I knew was that I had to live, for that's what Mommy and Daddy had wanted. And for that I had to feed. To feed I had to hunt. Morals was not the only issue, experience was too. But, eventually, my primitive needs took over, so I decided to start hunting.

Turns out it was too late by then, however. I was so weak due to the lack of food and sleep and mental capacity that I could hardly manage to stand, let alone hunt.

Then I reminded myself, Mommy said I was strong. And Mommy is—was always right. So, I mustered up enough strength to feed on anything and everything that looked edible in the forest. Eventually, I regained enough strength to kill my superego and hunt bigger.

It's not the same this time around.

I had been healthy then, it's the reason I had survived without food for so long.

Whereas currently I am already weak due to irregular eating habits of years, sometimes going as far as three days without feeding.

I survived every time, somehow. As if I had a purpose in life I was yet to fulfill. As if someone was looking upon me, trying to protect me.

I like to think it's the Moongodess.

A week ago I wandered off too far out of my small territory and then kept wandering further in search of food, only to come up empty.

Here I am now, in an unknown territory, far from the place I had been safely residing in. With an empty stomach.

I remember Daddy would kill any unknown werewolf that came into our packs territory, he said it was the general rule. If my memory serves me right, they're called 'rogues'.

I skidded to a halt at that memory, watching the white ball of fur disappear out of sight.

I haven't eaten in days. And I'm dying, either by getting caught or starvation. What was the point?

I feel my legs burn and walk descendingly to the nearest tree for support.

In that moment, I wished someone was there for me. Like.... beside me, physically. Someone who would tell me that it's going to be okay and take care of me and protect me. Things I've been doing for myself these past years.

Have I not earned the right to depend on someone, yet? At least for once. Do I not deserve it?

I faintly hear noises, at first I disregard them as just another harmless animal. Caught up in other thoughts, I didn't realize there's more than one and seemingly approaching me.

When they were close enough to be heard above everything else, I tensed and looked to the side to discover three big wolves racing towards me.

Werewolves, to be precise.

I let my body takeover and collapse against the tree, defeated.

I'm sorry Mommy–Daddy. This is it. Years of striving comes to an end.

It's better than starving, anyway. Isn't it? It'd rather be over in a split than in a slow tortured process.

And it's not like I can take out three healthy big werewolves by myself either. Not in the state I currently am.

Their paces slow as they draw nearer and stop right in front of me, surrounding.

One grey, one light brown and a dark brown. Their postures alarmed and prepared, ready to defend anything that they thought I was capable of doing.

The grey one growled at me. It looked like he was in charge; probably the Alpha.

At my lack of reaction, the dark brown one nudged me.

I still didn't react.

Just get over with it already, I thought to myself.

They stole glances at each other, contemplating on something and probably using the mind link. I could tell from that glazed look in their eyes.

Wait, what if they imprison me instead? That would be so much worse. So much more torture.

Maybe I should fight back. Maybe I should at least try. I can't disappoint Mom and Dad. No, I decide, I'm not going down without a fight.

But before I could've taken any action, the air unexpectedly changed. The tall trees swayed faster with the uncalled force of the wind, provoking them to fight each other—leaving no choice for those creatures residing in them to flee. The ones on the ground absconded as well, frightened by the disruption. Altogether, with the ruffling, crunching, chirping, screeching and growling, it all composed a foreboding music that was oddly pleasant to my subconscious. Because all of this, it only registered to my subconscious. Merely background noise.

My conscious, meanwhile, was focused on something far too big. Both, literally and figuratively. I barely took notice of the wolves bowing and parting to make way, as if everything was taking place in slow motion. My attention was solely trained on an enormous fuzzy figure, a mere shadow—hardly visible through the thick fog. And the shadow was getting bigger and bigger as it got closer. Bigger and scarier.

It was so large that 'it' was the only way to describe it, never having witnessed something so giant. The fog slowly parted, the closer he drew. The ground shook slightly at first, then vibrations gradually intensified as he neared and by the time he was only a few metres away—our surroundings were shaking fiercely as if an earthquake was taking place. It wasn't until he screeched to a stop, heels dug deep in the forest sand, did I realise his actual enormity.

But what actually shook me to my core were his eyes.

☾

A/N: I know. I cringed too. I started the book when I started experiencing hormones. I'm sure I was proud of it back then, so I don't want to change it completely but I've modified it a little to make it bearable.

Cliché beginning, but it gets better.

(Or so I've been told)