Playing on broken strings.

chapter 19

So what I'm really tryna say is And what I hope you understand..Is despite of all the imperfections of who I am I still wanna be your man

I know it hasn't been easy for us to talk with everyone being around

 But this is personal; this is for me and you

And I want you to know that I still love you

I know the seasons may change

And sometimes love goes from sunshine to rain

But I’m under this umbrella and I'm calling your name

And you know I don't wanna lose that

I still believe in us

Woah that came out better than I thought it would.

Looking at the page full of lyrics I finally set it up with the backing track I had already done and with that I burned it onto a cd.

I took my cd marker pen and wrote on it

‘Heartbreaker By Justin Bieber’

Before leaving it on the table for Scooter to listen to the next time he comes into the studio.

I put my cap on before slowly breathing out.

That really did calm me down a lot.

But I still miss her like hell.

What am I going to do with myself.

I am going to go get a coffee…caffeine always is a pick me up right?

Eh maybe not but still.

I hop back into the car and drive myself to Starbucks before pulling into the drive way and requesting my order.

“ill have a regular Americano please” I say while handing over the money.

“Okay thanks…oh my gosh are you Justin Bieber” the teenage girl serving me said.

Shit I forgot to put my shades on.

“Yeah that would be me” I say trying to be polite.

“Umm I don’t suppose I could have a picture could I” she asks in a high pitch squealy voice while jumping up and down.

“Sure” I say while she takes the picture and I pull the most fake smile in the world but im trying my best I can’t let my fans know im feeling down its not fair on them.

While she takes the photo I cant help but think of the time I asked Pippa for a photo together and all she did was smile with that perfect smile…why did I have to ruin everything.

“Thank you so much, heres your coffee by the way” she says while handing me the coffee her hands shaking like crazy im surprised she didn’t drop it.

“Thanks see ya” I say before driving off.

I don’t really know where im going.

I can’t go home too many questions from my Mom which I don’t really want to answer right now.

I know ill go to the house I bought a couple of months ago ready for when I wanted to move out I guess I can stay there for a while my Mom will understand.

I arrive at the house pull up and let myself in before sitting at the kitchen table I text my Mom to let her know whats happening so she wont get worried.

Hey Mom,

Im going to be staying in my house for a few weeks I just need to clear my head.

Justin x

Why do I feel bad even leaving my Mom for a few weeks I swear im feeling guilty for everything I do now but then again I was a absolute ass to the person  I cared most about.

Justin quit saying that theres nothing you can do now.

I decide to check my phone again as I have unread messages.

One was from Selena can she not just leave me alone!

Hey J,

Im so sorry about last night I didn’t want Pippa to react like that I hope your not mad at me

Selena x

IS THIS BITCH STUPID OF COURSE IM MAD AT HER.

I just delete the message and carry on reading the other messages ones from Emma.

Hey Justin,

How are you coping? I hope your okay im going over to see Pippa later so don’t worry ill tell you how she is…that’s if you want to know.

I know well..i know you and Pippa aren’t together anymore but I hope we can still be friends?

Em x

She’s really sweet Emmas actually become a really good friend of mine I instantly reply.

Hey Emma,

Of course we are still friends silly, and yes I do still want to know if Pippas okay so please please please tell me. Ill probably see you soon maybe with Christian or something?

Anyways till then

Justin x

What to do now.

My life feels so incomplete without Pippa here its weird.

I look in the fridge for something to drink when I notice the beers I had put in here when I bought the place I grab 4 pack of them and sit on the couch. I begin to drink them while watching some film on Netflix.

I wasn’t paying any attention and before I knew it I was passed out on the sofa.

 And For the second night in a row.

I was a heartbroken drunken mess.