Monster [malexmale]

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

I didn't sleep for the night.

I couldn't bring myself to, and even worse, was the urge to dip into Hannibal's dream state. It was a stronger pull this time, almost like he was trying to drag me in without actually doing it. He just laid there on the bed, silent and pale as a corpse and the comparison frightened me. It was only his beating heart that reassured me he was still here.

Jahlia had fixed his hair so it wasn't choppy and dirty. We cleaned him up, washed off the filth, healed his wounds, but the scars remained behind. Even the horrible, awful word they'd carved into his skin. His hair wasn't long anymore, but cut to his shoulders in fashionable layers and bangs swept across his handsome, scarred face. We'd changed him out of his clothes and just put him in an oversized t-shirt and baggy pants. They wouldn't have been baggy if he hadn't lost so much weight. How could someone lose so much weight in a mere two weeks? It choked me to think of what they'd done to him.

I didn't leave his side the entire time. Jahlia kept trying to urge me to go have dinner in the living room or take a walk, but I couldn't. I owed Hannibal this. I couldn't leave him. I wanted to be the first person he saw and I wanted the first thing I said to him to be "I'm sorry".

Because I was.

Yes, I was still angry and hurt over what he did to Abel.

But I was even more sick with agony over what had been done to him. No one deserved that kind of pain and humiliation and degradation. No one. Worst of all were the rumors that had been passed around Styx. Now everyone knew what Hannibal had done to Abel. And now everyone knew what Hannibal had been reduced to, and what made me ill was how many people whispered how he deserved it. But he didn't. He didn't.

Jahlia was right. Hannibal had made a mistake, and even Abel had told me that he, too, agreed with Jahlia. It was a mistake, and while no one knew the real reason why Hannibal had done it, I could only trace it back to a time of weakness in Hannibal's fight against the darkness that lived inside him.

And Hannibal didn't deserve those awful things for what he'd done. Yes, I admitted that he did deserve some kind of punishment, but honestly? I think all this time, Hannibal was punishing himself for what he'd done. Granted, I couldn't say that for sure, as only Hannibal would know the answer, but it just seemed like a very Hannibal thing to do.

"Hey, pumpkindrop," Jahlia said, greeting me with one of her weird made up endearments as she came into the room with a tray of food, "I thought you might need some breakfast. You sure you don't want to nap somewhere? I can set up my sofa." I shook my head, rubbing at my eye tiredly and giving her a weak smile.

"I'm all right, Jahlia, thank you. I don't think I'd be able to sleep anyway." I admitted. Jahlia nodded in understanding and handed me the tray that I put on the nightstand for now. Jahlia stepped back to study Hannibal, her head tilted slightly.

"Has he woken up yet?" She asked. I shook my head miserably. Jahlia patted my shoulder.

"It's okay. I'm not surprised. That was some heavy stuff we gave him. He probably won't wake up for a little while. In the mean time, all we can do is wait. And you're sure you don't want to at least go for a walk or go to your apartment or something?" She asked. I nodded and she sighed, leaning over and kissing me on top of the head before leaving the room. I watched her go, touched by her concern, before I turned back to watch Hannibal sleep.

That horrible ache to just take a peek at what was going on inside his head was overwhelming. Part of me knew I should leave. Just being near him was a horrible temptation that made my blood burn and mind race. But I didn't want to abandon him again. I wanted to be here to tell him how sorry I was and how stupid I'd been. I wanted to assure him he wasn't a monster.