Secondhand Embarrassment

one: incoming message

lennon || noah

☼~☼~☼~☼~☼

tinder: congratulations! you have a new match!
noah lyons has just sent you a message!

did it hurt when you fell
straight down from heaven?

how are you so sure i didn't crawl
up from the inner workings of a
burning hell instead?

it's what's underneath that
really matters at the end of the day
you'll always be an angel to me ;)

out of pure curiosity, what is your
success rate with this pickup line?

you know what they say, lennon
a magician should never reveal the
secrets to his greatest magic tricks

funny because your profile didn't mention
anything about you being a magician

neither did yours, but i think
i've already fallen under your spell

there aren't even any words to
describe how i feel right now

how about undeniably impressed,
sexually aroused, or bewitched
by my ever so alluring charm?

sit your ass back down,
you walking thesaurus

sorry, i'm afraid that won't be
possible because i've been sitting

it's a really good thing numbers
exist in this world for those moments
all words seem to fail
1/10 for effort

don't i at least get another point for
the winky face the beginning of this
conversation? i named him ignacio

fine. 2/10 for effort and ignacio

hasn't your math teacher told you
before to simplify your fractions
for your final answer goddamnit

do i even know you? why am
i still talking to you?

because i'm awesome and
you want to get to know me

☼~☼~☼~☼~☼