BAMBI

XXXVI

"Those beams."

He turned so the back of his head was resting on my legs, his eyes staring straight up at the exposed beams above, "What about them?"

"Nothing. Just admiring them I guess."

"Admiring pieces of wood? I really know how to show you a good time, huh?" He laughed. "What about them do you like?"

"I don't know, I was just surprised to see so much character in a house this big."

"My house isn't really your style, huh?"

"I like it."

"Bullshit!" He laughed, "What would you change?" His eyes finally darted from the ceiling to mine.

"Nothing. It's your house."

"Ok ok... well if you could change something what would it be?"

"I don't know. I love your library! But I guess I'd just de-fancy it a little."

"Is that even a word?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, "Probably not."

"So it's too fancy for you?" His eyebrows furrowed like he wasn't sure he'd heard me right, even if I was making up words.

"Yeah. Just all the giant vases and glass figures everywhere. It all feels a little museumish."

"That's definitely not a word." He laughed. "Anyway when we get back home why don't you bring some of your stuff to my house. That way it'll be more fit to your taste."

"No, Prince. It's your house. I'm not just gonna go in and start rearranging your whole life. It's not a big deal. I'll just keep my distance from the statues." I said, referring to the many small statutes he had situated around the house.

"No baby," he shook his head, "what I was trying to say without actually saying it was that I want you to move in with me. I mean we're practically living together already, we just alternate houses."

"Prince..."

"And don't say it's too soon or you're not ready. We both know this is the next step for us."

I didn't say anything, I was at a loss for words. I definitely wanted to live with him, to wake up next to him every morning and lay next to him every night. The favorite part of my day was feeling his arm wrap around my body and pull me towards him. His form molded to mine like we were made to fit together, made to be a pair. 

But I worked so hard to find my independence and I wasn't sure I wanted to leave that behind. After I left Aaron I was left with a few pictures and the clothes on my back. With the help of my best friend Karen I was able to start over. But it was hard, one of the hardest experiences in my life. And although I was able to climb out of the hole and become a successful person, I never wanted to go through that again. I didn't think I would be able to survive that experience again.

"Look," Prince said, bringing his finger up to my chin, tilting my head down so I was looking directly into his blood shot but still very beautiful eyes, "I know you had a hard time with your ex. I know that's what you're thinking about- you don't want to go through that shit again. But I promise, I swear Viv, I will never do any of the things he did to you. I'll never leave you in a position where you have nothing or where you feel like you have to leave. Ok?"