Frozen Fantasies [brallon]

VII

Present
Song of the chapter is figure me out by the summer set. It's attached above ☝🏿️☝🏿️☝🏿️
"Where do we go first papa?" Rilee squealed, his voice full of admiration and excitement.

"We're gunna go to Colorado tomorrow, Utah the day after that, then Idaho, Washington and Oregon. And that's only the next few days!"

"Ohmygosh!" He hugged his stuffed teddy close to his chest.

"You ready to get on the big plane?" Brendon's smile got wider and I grabbed mine and Rilee's suitcases, handing them to Zack and walking into the terminal.

"Yay! I've never been on a plane before!" I smiled and took his tiny hand in mine. He looked at me and smiled before taking Brendon's hand too. A little bridge between his daddies that maybe could fix things.
____________

When the plane landed I let out a shuddery breath, I had never enjoyed plane rides. The fear of my life being put in complete control of someone else scared me shitless. Rilee of course, loved it. He took a nap, read every single hand out in the back of his seat, ate his pretzels, mine and Brendon's and drank an entire can of apple juice. Meanwhile I sat there clutching the armrests for fear of my life. Brendon took care of Rilee because he knew that I was a nervous flier, so I did my best to fall asleep, but to no avail.

"Ready to go Dal?" Brendon said snapping me out of my little trance.

"Oh uh yeah..." I stood up and took Rilee's hand and the two of them lead me out of the plane. After we got our bags we got into the van and drove to the hotel we would be staying at. It was really nice. Nicer than what we did when we were young.

"Wow..." Rilee awed gripping the straps of his Ninja Turtle backpack. Zack had already checked us in so we went straight up to our room. Brendon keyed open the door and went in frost followed by Rilee who almost immediately climbed on top of the huge bed. It was a beautiful room with a light gray wallpaper on the wall, floor to ceiling windows looking over the city, a sleek kitchen and foyer in a separate part of the suite, and two double beds.

"You and Rilee can sleep on that bed and I'll sleep over here." He said gesturing to each of the beds. I simply nodded my head in response dropping my bag and walking to the window to look.

"Why don't you and papa sleep together like always?" Rilee mused with a look of confusion blatantly on his face. "I'm a big boy. I can sleep all by myself." Brendon and I exchanged glances quickly before I turned back to him.

"Alright. If you think you can sleep all by yourself."
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"Daddy?" Rilee asked me from the bedroom.

"Yeah riles," I yelled at him from the kitchen. I was making him some Mac and cheese for dinner while Brendon was at his concert.

"Where's papa?"

"At a concert remember?" I responded pouring the boiled macaroni in a small colander the kitchen had in a cabinet somewhere.

"Yeah..." I could tell without even seeing his face that he was disappointed. I dried my hands and padded back into the bedroom where Rilee was sitting with his legs tucked under him watching some cartoons and clutching onto his teddy. "Why is he gone so much?"

"Well... ya see buddy... I met your papa when he was starting to get really famous, and he's only gone up from there." I stopped and he nodded his little head. "So your papa has to travel all over to make his fans happy. Does that make sense?"

"Yes daddy, but..." he stopped and looked down at his knees, "never mind..."

"What's wrong buddy?" I asked him with worried eyes.

"Do you love papa?"

"Of course buddy... why would you ask that?"

"I just wanted to know."

"Good. I love your papa very much and I always will." I smiled a sad smile wishing he hadn't sensed the rift between us. It hurt my heart that he questioned us that much. "Now finish your cartoon, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." He nodded and smiled a big toothy grin, returning to his cartoon. I went back to the kitchen thinking about Brendon. If Rilee noticed than something had to change. I couldn't let him feel the lack of love too. I finished the macaroni and brought it to Rilee and we ate while watching Monsters inc before I put him to bed. After he was fast asleep I went into the mini fridge and cracked open a mini bottle of vodka downing it all in one gulp. It was barely 10 o'clock, and Brendon wouldn't be home until well into the night. I could drink a bit and be completely fine by the time he got back. I tossed the bottle into the trash and grabbed another two bottles of the malt whiskey and grabbed a cup popping a few ice cubes in it. I sat down on the couch in the foyer pouring the bottles into the cup. I sipped at the cup and then stood, walking over to the window and staring over into the city. The lights buzzed with an effervescent glow that overpowered my senses. I got lost in watching the lights from streetlights, fast food signs and cars. My eyes focused and then unfocused, seeing the whole picture and then the next second one single light. I took a sip of the drink in my hand, enjoying the burn in my throat.

"If you focus long enough on one you can see the light change." I heard him say. That same voice that I fell in love with 10 whole years ago. I felt his presence next to me and looked over. He had that after show glow with the scent of cheap beer on his lips.

"Yeah..."

"How was your day?"

"Fine. Your show?" I asked him trying to return to normalcy.

"It was good. They're really hype here." He said with a trace of laughter. He drug his thumb across his lips and smiled.

"It's the weed." I said with laughter leaving my voice.

"Hey... don't diss my weed."

"I didn't." I almost turned to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him. This seemed so normal. So perfect, and I wanted it like this forever.

"You're right."

"I know I am."

"You always were." He said out of nowhere surprising me.

"Brendon..."

"No Dallon. I fucked up, and I'm going to fix it. I promise you. I know that you think I don't love you anymore, but I do. I always did. I don't know what happened. Why I thought Ryan was better, more than you were. You were nothing but dedicated, and I failed you. I failed you and Rilee. And I'm going to fix it. Trust me. I fucked up. I made a mistake, but it's gunna be fixed." He finished his rant with a smile, and I scoffed in semi annoyance. He changed his mind at the tip of a hat. Last week he hated me. Last week he didn't want me. Last year I was nothing to him. Now I'm something?

"Please don't say things you don't mean."

"Who's to say I don't mean that?"

"When I went to see you last week the first words out of your mouth were that you obviously didn't want me near you. In a week you completely changed your opinion of me?"

"Dallon..."

"No... I'm sorry I've had a little bit to drink. Let's go to bed and talk about this tomorrow." I downed the rest of my drink setting it down with a slam before stomping away in a toddler like fashion. My head was spinning with confusion. One moment I wanted him the next I was full of hatred for him and the things he had done. I couldn't separate my head. And it was bothering me. I stripped myself of my clothes rolling them into a ball and tossing them back into my suitcase before climbing into bed and jerking the sheets over my body. I was suddenly chilled by my circumstance. I think it's time for me to figure me out.

HeLLo...
Hi so yeah I had time time this week. I feel like both Brendon and Dallon are both very emotionally unstable in this fic so I'm tryin to sort it out. So I'm sorry.

This chapter got me thinking about Ryan Ross for some reason. Does anyone else ever think about how Brendon completely refuses to talk about Ryan. Like in the Brendon world... George Ryan Ross the III doesn't exist? Blows my mind. Anyways comment your thoughts on that...

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-Syd