Save Me

11| Lauren

"Nobody's checking for you?" Bam gave me a suspicious look. "I'll let you slide on the lie."

We sat there quietly and watched the t.v. until I felt him move his fingers to my wrist that rested on the couch. He was glancing down at my tattoo of Amara's name. I quickly moved it away.

"Never peeped that tatt til' now. Who's Amara?"

My eyes batted rapidly, I was flirting with the idea of dosing back off to sleep. Christian's constant kisses on my neck barely kept me awake as we were lying down, snuggled up.

"You not gone let me go back to sleep...are you?" I groaned before turning over to face him.

He had a kool-aid smile on his perfectly chiseled face. I flicked him on his bare chest with my finger and frowned. "Why you trippin'? Baby girl bout to come in here in a few anyway..."

I cracked a half smirk and nodded, he was right. "You're going to jinx it, babe."

Christian's squeaky laugh filled the room before he shifted closer to me. "She's coming in 5...4...3--"

"Mama, I the birthday girl!"

Amara came skipping into the room without a knock. She jumped up and down on our bed with a crown on her head. Christian and I let out a chuckle at her perfect timing.

"How old is daddy's baby now?" Christian asked with his arms still wrapped around me.

Amara stopped jumping and looked at her hand, putting three fingers up. She focused hard on counting before yelling her answer.

"Three!"

"Ooooh," I coo'ed. "You're big girl now, Mara!"

"Lauren? You straight..." I snapped out of it to see Bam staring right at me with tissues in his hand. "Why you crying?" I touched my face and realized that I was indeed crying.

"Nothing, it's fine." I lied.

"You sure?" The tension in his face softened tremendously.

"Yes," I said with a deep breath as I took the tissue from his hand to wipe my face. "I'm such a damn cry baby sometimes. Probably looking ugly as fuck right now."

A smile formed on Bam's face. "You couldn't be if you tried..."

I sat with my head bowed down thinking about my baby girl. Her round face, those
hazelnut eyes to go along with her deep dimples. The kisses she'd attack us in the morning with, I missed her so much.

"She would've been 6 today."

Bam looked up at me in confusion. "Huh? What you say?" I cleared my throat.

"Amara, my daughter. She would've been 6 years old today."

I could see the regretful look on his face for even bringing her up, but he had no idea of her existence.

"Damn, I'm sorry. You know I never--"

"It's fine, I assure you." I wiped my face clean and tried to stop sniffling.

"Nah, it's not. I was out of bounds for asking. Anything you want me to do in order to make it up to you, I got you."

"As if you giving me and my son a home isn't enough. Just give me a hug fool. I need one." I told him with my arms spread open like a big kid. He nodded and hesitantly brought me in for a hug.

"Thank you," I said to him.

"It's nothing...I told you I got you. Now, can you go to bed so I can have my couch back." He cracked a tired grin. I playfully rolled my eyes and flicked him across the forehead.