Chapter 1

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  • Dedicated to BreAnna
                                    

It wasn't fair really, my reward for being a good friend shouldn't have been this. I did nothing wrong, and now my life, as I know it, is ruined. My dreams are now shattered. I seem pretty calm for someone whose life is collapsing into ruins around her, but I still have a lot to live for. I just have to find it.

As to what happened, I was driving my completely wasted friend home from a party- one, mind you, I did not attend- when another driver struck my side of the car as they ran a red light. No body died, thankfully, but things were never the same. When the car struck my door, the impact dislocated and shattered my knee cap, threw me into my friend giving us both concussions, and broke the humerus in 3 spots on my left arm.

My friend, Jocelyn, was in the most danger after the wreck. Being drunk and concussed makes it a huge risk to go to sleep. She almost died. I had an Open Reduction- Internal Fixation surgery, which basically put wires in and around my knee so that it would heal properly and be secured. I had a cast on for 3 weeks to keep it immobilized. Plus a matching cast for my arm. I haven't really spoken to Jocelyn since, plus I don't think she remembers what happened. My other friends got to roll me in my wheel chair from class to class. I think they enjoyed 'accidentally' wheeling me into walls.

~ The day the casts came off~

"Alright Rachel, why don't you help me get you up on this table and we can get you out of those casts." Doctor Holbrook asked as he helped me out of my wheelchair. The table was kind of necessary as my cast went from about 8 inches above my knee all the way down to my foot. I wore a lot of skirts, sweatpants, and basketball shorts to school these days.

"Doc, don't need more x-rays first?" Otherwise they are just going to have to wrap me back up if it hasn't fully healed.

"That, my dear, is why they have invented portable X-Ray machines. You can just sit back, relax, and hopefully have us cut these off." I didn't really mind the 'my dear' part. Dr. Holbrook was 60 and happily married with 3 children and 2 grandchildren.

So I did exactly what he said and a couple minutes later the nice Doctor and two nurses armed with knives came and cut me out of my casts, which I got to keep.

"Now Rachel, I want to talk to you about your x-rays. You mentioned that you are a dancer, and are planning to continue dancing in the future, yes?"

"Yes sir, that was the plan. Is that going to be a problem?"

"Sweetheart, with these wires on your knee, and the severity of the damage, it is highly recommended that you don't do anything that would require your knee to absorb shock. Now I don't know much about your kind of dancing, but I have a feeling that absorbing shock is a big part of what your knees will be going through." He explained this solemnly, as if to a child.

"So I take it that I'm never going to dance again am I?" I knew it was a possibility, but I had hoped and prayed to god that it wasn't going to happen.

"No Rachel, I'm sorry but you really shouldn't to prevent further injuries. Even if we take out the wires later, we still don't recommend dancing." He continued to explain things to my father, who was with me and blending with the wall.

I thought about the recommendation letter I had at home. My leg up into a great dance company in New York. I thought about all the brochures I had from Julliard. All gone. The one thing that I had planned on, my constant, my relief, gone. I have to start my whole future over from scratch.

I was silent for the rest of the time until I got home. Dr. Holbrook told me to get a cane until my knee could support my full weight, so I went and got one out of the closet from when my dad tore up his leg. My cane and I walked into the kitchen, put on my shoes, and told my parents we were going to the park.

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