Enough

Chapter 19.

I take a couple of deep breaths to calm my nervs but it's not really working. Harry is right by my side chuckling at my actions.

''Just do it,'' he says like it's the most easiest thing in the world. ''go in there and tell him.''

''It's not that easy,'' I sigh and open the car door. ''he was always so kind and now look at how I'm treating him.'' 

''You're acting like he's all innocent while that's far away from the fucking truth.'' 

I've never really understood what Harry meant when he accused Louis for acting differently from how his real personality was. I would usually ignore his rude remarks against Louis, but this time something got to me. But the wave of guilt of what I'm about to do is taking over my body and I just want to get it over with.

''I'll be right back,'' I mutter right before closing the door and walking over to the frat house Louis is staying at. A couple of people are outside, some are vomiting which made me close my eyes and feel disgusted and some are making out. Due to the loud music coming from the house and large population of people, I'm guessing they're having a party. 

I try to ignore all the people around me as I walk inside only to be greeted by a bunch of drunk college people. I recognize Ben sitting on a couch between two girls looking drunk. I can't believe how much he has changed or perhaps I was wrong from the beginning. 

I almost feel like pinching myself to get out of this nightmare and from this scenario where Ben isn't this cute little boy sitting beside me at french class. I look away once he starts making out with one of the girls who's wearing a short, too short, sleeveless black lace dress. I continue my search for Louis as I stumble into multiple people. I look down at the basic clothing covering my body and compares it with the short dresses this girls are wearing, realizing I really don't fit into these parties. 

The familiar smell of smoke and alcohol in this large living room makes me wanna run out and back to Harry's car, but I would feel so bad for Louis if I continued with my behaviour towards him. 

''Alright,'' I mutter as I reach the kitchen where there were less people, but still enough people to make me feel suffocated. ''I give up.''

''Sam?'' I hear an unfamiliar voice behind me. I turn around from my position of leaning on the counter only to be greeted by a blonde boy. I recognize him from Zayn's little group, still scary group though. If he hangs out with Zayn then I should treat him the same as I do with Zayn and keep my distance. But Harry does- or did hang out with Zayn too but the thought of him somewhere far away from me almost makes me cringe. 

''I'm Niall,'' he reassures me once I start stepping back with his voice filled with a thick irish accent. ''Um.. What are you doing here?''

''I'm looking for Louis,'' I give a quick respond and his change of facial expression shows me that something isn't right. ''Have you seen him?'' Maybe he isn't here.

''Um.. Yeah sort of,'' his voice sounds unsure and it makes me nervous. 

''Hey Niall,'' Me and Niall turn around to the source of the voice. My nervs calm down once I found out that Louis is okay, but the sight of him makes my knees go weak. I lean on the counter to steady myself though.

Once Louis notices me behind Niall, his grip on the two slutty looking blondes's shoulders loosens and his gaze falls to the white floor of shame. 

''I think you should go,'' Niall turns back around to me and gestures to the door frame to the kitchen being occuped by Louis and his company with a facial expression of sympathy. 

My ears were unable to hear him though. I can't believe the sight in front of me which was taking over my mind. Multiple questions were going through my head as tears were forming but I wasn't going to let myself cry to show that I'm weak in some sort of form.