Capitulated | Incest | Jason Mccann

Chapter 3.

Thank you for the votes and comments,♡ :)

I suck at writing sex scenes and I apologize if I sound like a ten year old, I lack describing things good, I already know.

*I wrote this while I was currently writing on December 23rd* [Guys three years of journals man, excuse me while I fucking go cry and blast my ears with the most special and perfect album in my life. No matter with all the shit he was going through at the time, he still managed to help me at the age of 13, couldn't of asked for a better idol that I'll always love. ♡ even though that album is so fucking underrated, it's very important to me and still is the day it was released which was 3 years ago today, I love purpose and every album he made but journals hit my heart and captured it most personally :')]

Avas pov:

December 3rd, 2016.

My alarm clock woke me up for school and the second I turned it off, the horrific scenes played over and over in my mind, reminding me that it wasn't just a nightmare that I thought I had. I felt my stomach churn as my mind kept replaying last night and I felt so disgusted and sick to my stomach. Why did I do that? Wait hold up, fuck him this isn't even my fault in the first place so I'm not gonna shame myself, fuck that.

I tried pushing away the thoughts by covering my face with my hands acting like it would help but nothing did and all I could see was jason in my mind. He made me so mad yet I was too weak to feel angry at this point, all that my body felt was disgust and I never wanted to see him again, no uncle does that to their niece but what could I do? I couldn't say anything, he had shit over me and what would anyone say? There's no option but to keep quiet. If I say something, he told me my dad wouldn't believe me and he would just tell him everything. Ugh.

I threw the covers off of my body and stood up off the bed where my legs immediately started shaking, almost giving out until I held onto my nightstand to hold me up. I groaned knowing that I'm walking from building to building at my school so today's gonna be a fucking bitch.

I bit my lip, sucking the pain up and limped all the way into my bathroom where I did my business and brushed my teeth. I already took a shower last night to get rid of that feeling but yet my body still felt dirty from his touch, his kisses and especially down there. It doesn't matter what type of special soap I used, his mark was mentally permanent.

As I brushed my teeth, I couldn't help but let a few tears slip out of my eyes because I'm a fucking baby. The guilt and regret overwhelmed me and I'm flat out gonna say it because it's literally the problem. I had sex with my uncle last night and it was not only once but it happened four fucking times. Four times! It's not counted as rape because that's if you're forced, he may have forced me the first couple of minutes but I- no, I don't wanna say it but I just know that I will forever hate myself for it.

What's wrong with me? Do you even realize how disgusting this is and sounds? Incest, incest, incest. Just the word alone makes people disgusted and throw shame without even hearing an explanation. Never had I ever thought this would be a situation I'd find myself stuck in. Who the hell does this?

I don't even wanna see him, hear his name, nothing involved with him. Hell I wish that would be easy but he's my uncle and is currently staying at my house. There's no escaping him. My dad even looks like him, they had the same similarities except my dad has dark brown hair and jason has blonde, they both have the same eyes, same lips, same everything which disturbs me. Ugh.