response of souls | ᴷᴴᴮ × ᴷᴶᵂ

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Hanbin glared into the night, looking at the spot where Jiwon had been until just seconds ago. Hanbin had watched Jiwon, leaving him once again, completely alone. Night, again. Just like four years ago, it had been nighttime too as Jiwon had left his life for the very first time. Hanbin kept on staring at the same spot for quite some time. How long? Hell, how should he know?! His mind had lost all sense of time, his body had lost all kind of feelings, he himself had lost the will or even the intention to move, not even an inch. He just stood there, lost like a little child, partly living in the present, the other part living in the past, which dared to drown him once again. Somewhere deep inside at the very end of his mind, something, whatever, tried to understand, to understand the situation, to understand that Jiwon was indeed alive, to understand his feelings, to simply understand something, but even if that something succeeded, Hanbin wouldn't be able to understand. There was simply no way. Others might be able to live with that situation like nothing happened and that it's just normal that your dead best friend suddenly protected you from someone who wanted your death, yeah there might be people who're actually able to just keep on living. Nevertheless, Hanbin wasn't one of those people. He was one of those people, whose whole world would suddenly start crumbling down just because of such a situation. Well, not just his world, but then.. is there even more than his world? Could even more crumble down on him, batter him death and burry him under the pieces?

Hanbin just stood there, watching the night. If it was dead, people would probably thing he died while standing still, or maybe that he was some kind of sculpture. Somewhere in his mind he was amazed that he was still standing, and somewhere else his mind was screaming at him, declaring him to be a complete fool, a coward, just a naïve little boy.

Time passed by and the part which was angry slowly took over him, getting him into rage-mode. Who was Jiwon to act like that? Being all protective out of a sudden? Who was Jiwon to think that he needed him? Hanbin was able to care for himself, he didn't need Jiwon, and he didn't need him at all. After all, he had been able to survive the last few years without him. Yeah maybe Chanwoo explained that he and Jiwon had kept them save, but without their actions they would have never needed their 'protection'.
"Fool." Hanbin said to himself, however, not knowing if he said it to himself or to a currently-not-there Jiwon. Hanbin mentally screamed at a imagination of Jiwon, out of frustration, but Hanbin wouldn't admit it to himself, though. Never. He wasn't frustrated, he was angry! But still, he was frustrated. He was angry at Jiwon. He was angry at himself, for letting Jiwon control his world that much. Suddenly Hanbin felt like he only existed, because Jiwon existed. And then again, wasn't it the truth? Didn't he only exist, because Jiwon existed? And then, if Jiwon would have died for sure that night, wouldn't he and the others be safe by now? Would have Chanwoo been able to live a happy life with them, instead of hoping he was able to survive the next day? Hanbin's mind suddenly flooded with questions, question he couldn't answer, probably nobody could, probably not even Jiwon. Was Jiwon even the problem? Nope. Jiwon wasn't, Hanbin himself was the problem. All his actions, thoughts, everything circled around a certain point, named Jiwon. In one point of his life Hanbin must have decided to let his life being controlled by Jiwon, even though the latter didn't even know. How should Jiwon even know? Hanbin never told him, never talked to him about it, hell, he only found out just now. Jiwon was simply living his life, trying to protect them, be a good friend, even though he couldn't be there for them physically and still he was there, they simply didn't know. How should they? They had thought they were dead.

Hanbin finally moved after some time, still not knowing how much had passed, he didn't really care, though. He got his bag back on his shoulders and returned on heading home. His mind was still processing the meeting with Jiwon. Jiwon's words: 'I'm done dealing with you' echoed through his mind, they hurt his soul, but he felt numb anyways. 'There is no point in this.' He thought. Hanbin decided to walk home as slowly as he could, hoping that Jinhwan wasn't waiting for him.