Wednesday (ON HOLD)

11

Dashurie
the following Monday

"So you and Cam talk?"

"No. We just... I don't know. Its kinda hard to explain, but just know we doing us." I responded to Cassidy's question smiling.

It was going on 11:00am and we were on facetime while she sat in the auditorium during her lunch hour.

"Mmm, let me find out y'all been talking since forever and you didn't tell me,"

"Girl," I laughed. "Ain't nobody been talking to him that long. Besides, I been all about Mel. Well, at least I was."

I rolled my eyes after mentioning his name. Just the slightest thought of him made my blood boil.

Even though that little altercation happened a few days ago, I still had a lot of anger in me because of it.

"Ooh speaking of the devil. Tell me why he gone ask me if I could try to get you to talk to him? Girl, I must've looked at him like he had three heads and one eyeball,"

I shook my head, chuckling dryly at her silliness.

"Girl don't let that ruin your mood. Just act like I never said it," she said once she noticed the change in my demeanor.

"I'm not, but Cass I'll call you later. I gotta take this," I said noticing Cameron trying to facetime me.

Once she responded, I accepted the call.

"What's up baby,"

"Hey," I said smiling widely as I looked at his face.

"You must be happy to see me?"

"I'm not with you in person at the moment, so technically no,"

"Dang. Hurt a nigga feelings then,"

"I'm just playing. I am kinda happy to hear your voice though." I admitted smiling.

"Awwwww, you miss daddy?" He smirked.

"Yeah. Shit ain't been the same since he left,"

His face dropped causing me to let out the laugh I was holding in.

"You got one more time to diss me,"

"What you gone do?"

"I can show you better than I can tell you," he smirked.

"You ain't gone show her shit,"

I jumped at the sound of Deshaun's voice behind me.

"Hey Shauny," I said innocently.

"Hey Shauny my ass. Why you in here being fast?" He asked making Cameron laugh and causing my face to scrunch up.

"How am I being fast? Its just Cameron."

"And? Ion know that nigga like that,"

I rolled my eyes fed up with his sudden change of attitude. Ever since I told him that I was done with Mel and that I didn't plan on rekindling our "friendship", he's been acting childish.

"Aye ima hit you later shawty," Cameron said then hung up before I could even protest.

Exhaling loudly, I threw my phone on the bed.

"See what you did?"

"Ion know what you talking about," he smirked.

"Why must you act so childish? Act your age, not your shoe size. Dang!"

Exiting my room, I headed towards the kitchen.

"Who the hell you think you talking to?" He asked following me.

"Deshaun, stop talking to me."

"You ain't grown and you damb sure ain't bouta tell me what to do in my house,"

"Shut the fuck up then damn!"

He was really starting to get on my nerves just like everyone else and I was not up for the bickering today.

"Watch yo fucking mouth Dashurie before I hit you in it,"

"You ain't gone do shit to me. My own momma didn't hit me, so what I look like letting you do it?" I yelled.

"I can't tell cause if I remember correctly you came here crying for my help because she beat yo ass!"

Tears immediately clouded my eyes as his face softened.

"Dashurie I--"

"Don't even worry about it," I said shaking my head. "Excuse me."

Stepping around him, I began to exit the kitchen.

"D, you know I didn't mean that,"

Stopping on the fourth step, I looked over my shoulder.

"It's fine. I don't really care anymore." I responded with a weak, closed mouth smile as tears raced down my face.

Continuing the walk upstairs to my room, I wiped my face. Entering my room, I closed the door behind me.

I was tired. Tired of all the negativity. Tired of being hurt by my loved ones. Tired of feeling unwanted; like an outsider.

I was just tired.

No one knew how I felt or what I've been through, yet they have everything in the world to say about me. No one knows my inner thoughts or the pain I feel everyday, yet the feel they have the right to judge me.

Whether its my appearance, my attitude, my personality; it doesn't matter. No one ever seems to seek the good in anything I do, and I'm just over it all.

The only person that genuinely cared about me was my father. Well, at least that's what it seems like. I just don't care about anything anymore.

People seem to underestimate me quite often, but they wont have to do that anymore.

Wiping as many tears as I could, I folded the piece of tissue and blew my nose.

After I washed my hands, I grabbed a towel and ran hot water over it before washing my face.

Removing the cap from the bottle, I emptied the remainder of white, circle shaped tablets into my hand.

Neglecting my fear of taking pills, I opened my water bottle and drank from it before tossing the pills in my mouth; followed by another large amount of water.

Once the pills traveled down my throat successfully, I broke down. I couldn't take the continuous infidelity.

About three minutes passed when my vision slowly started to become blurry. Shaking my head to try to get rid of its sudden heaviness, I slowly walked to my bed.

As I spread across the bed, I tiredly felt around for my ringing phone.

Feeling my eyes become heavier by the second, my breathing began to decrease.

Blinking one last time, I closed my eyes without a care in the world, finally reaching happiness.