Dirty Little Secret

Chapter twenty-three

He rubbed his hand over his jaw. "Is the baby okay?" He asked quietly.

“Yeah, the baby is okay.”

He sighed. "Are you okay?"

“I think so.”

He nodded. "That's good. I guess." Silence settled over us as we looked at each other - him checking over me and me trying to work out what to say to him.

“Why are you here?” I ask curious. Earlier he wanted nothing to do with me.

"Like your mother kept pointing out, I had to check on you." He chuckled darkly. "Not that you really want me here, right? You never wanted me. You made it sound like I forced you," he stood up and started pacing the room.

I feel tears pricking at my eyes. “That’s not true.” I say. “I want you here.”

"Clearly you would prefer Elliott," he snorted. "I want to leave, but I can't." He looked at me dead in the eye. "I just can't," he whispered.

“If you want to leave so badly, what's keeping you here?”

"You." He looked out the window and frowned.

“Owen, I want you here. Out of anyone, even my parents, you're the one that I want here with me.” I say. “What I want is you and if you don’t want me, then fine. But you are going to be involved in your baby's life whether you like it or not.”

"And what about Elliott?" He turned and looked at me. "You love him. I know you do - hell, you told me to my face. You don't understand how much that hurt."

“I'll always love him.” I say. “But Owen, when I found out I that I'm pregnant I was extremely happy that it’s yours and not his. That’s all that I could think about, the fact that I'm carrying your baby.”

He shook his head. "I will be there for the baby as much as possible, Lani, but how am I suppose to be around you? You love him, you don't need me."

“He and I are over Owen.” I say. “But you don’t know how wrong you are. I do need you, way more than you know.”

"Not enough, trust me." He ran a hand over his face.

“Owen I need you, you don’t know how much.”

"How am I supposed to know how much you need me when you don't bother telling me and you tell Elliott you still love him?!" He threw his arms out and narrowed his eyes.

“I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry! I know that all of this is really messed up, but what I’ve realized is that I want you and only you. I need you because I can’t imagine not having you in my life. You've always been here for me and I can’t imagine you not being here.” I say. “I shouldn’t have done that, especially in front of you. I'm sorry, I really am.” I tell him all but crying.

He gritted his teeth and shook his head. "I hate how I can't stay mad at you, Lani." In three quick strides he was in front of me and pulling me into a hug. "I really hate it."

“Ow, ow, ow.” I say. Huh, so that’s why I really couldn’t move. Damn car. Before I could blink, he was gone again. I frowned. I wanted to hug him, even if it did hurt. “Sorry.” I look down.

He shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. "I guess you want to be with your parents for awhile, I'll get going..."

“No!” I exclaim. “Don’t go.”

He stopped, hand on the doorknob. "Is your dad going to kill me?"

“I don’t know.”

"I guess I'll take my chances - for you," he smiled and walked to the chair next to my bed.