Welcome to Paradise // Billie Joe Armstrong // #Wattys2017

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

"For the last time, I can't! I'm not going back in there!" Billie shouts at me.

What had happened in the past two hours was something I had been dreading since the moment I left the school to find Adrienne. The brittle vase, that was represented best by the relationship between me and Billie, had shattered into a dozen shards, and no glue seemed strong enough to fit them back together.

The claustrophobic situation we have found ourselves in is getting the best of me – of both of us. A new location has popped onto our map; we're one step closer to finding Billie's wife, but Mike's death seems like a massive brick wall blocking the road to our goal.

The wall needs to be torn down quickly, but all Billie and I seem to be doing at this moment is gathering bricks to make it bigger.

"Then what are we going to do?!" I yell back, tears slowly gathering in my eyes. "The only way we're ever going to find your wife is if we move forward. Staying inside the bar is not going to help us any further."

"I just... I need some time, Aileen. One of my best friends is dead. Dead." Billie drags a hand though the thin strands of hair that are sticking to his forehead.

"Don't you get it?" I whimper. "We do not have time! Mike isn't, but Adrienne might still be out there, she is somewhere. Something, for that matter. We can't afford to waste any of the precious time we have."

"If she would still be out there, we would've found her by now, wouldn't we? It's pointless. Everything we're doing right now is so fucking pointless." Billie yells, kicking his foot against the matrass, that hits the wall with a big thud.

My eyes widen at his statement, making me impossible to speak up again. "I left the school to find your wife. I gave up every bit of safety to help out my biggest idol and now we're getting closer you suddenly decide this is pointless!?" I shake my head in denial. "Coming along with you, that was pointless."

"Don't you fucking say that, Aileen!"

"Why not? It's true. It's true and you fucking know it!"

"What even did you expect to happen? What made you decide to come along in the first place?" Billie spits at me. "You knew this entire journey was going to be full of danger and uncertainties."

"Yeah, but I thought it was worth it. I thought it'd be worth to help someone that helped me through a big part of my life." I spit back. "I just didn't think he'd ever give up this easily."

"I am not giving up! I just..." Billie stops and sighs deeply. "I need time to figure out what I want" he quickly adds, dropping his head to the floor and purposely avoiding my gaze.

"What you want ?" I ask in disbelief.

"I care a lot about you Aileen, but we can't continue together if we find Adrienne. It will end there. I don't know if I'm ready for that." He quietly speaks.

"So, you're saying that you'll just ditch me after all of this is over, after all the trouble I went through for you? You don't fucking care about me, you're just using me to get what you want!"

I knew something like that was coming, I just kept shoving it back to the unconscious part of my mind. Simply because I couldn't face reality. How stupid was I to think someone like Billie could actually fall for a girl like me?

"I do need you, Aileen. I never denied I needed you, but this is a difficult situation for me too."

"Yeah, well guess what Billie? This is a difficult world. You just have to get used to it" I say, pushing Billie aside.

"Aileen, c'mon, please just-" he tries to argue, but I cut him off harshly. I turn around and point a finger at him. "Just don't" I groan, as I storm into the back room and smash the door behind me.

I drop myself on the matrass lying in the corner and let my head rest against the wall. Every inch of my mind is blaming me for everything that's happening right now. I wanted to go on that journey with my idol so badly, and right now, I'm paying the price. The brick wall that's blocking the road is not Mike. It's me.

And clearly, I need to be torn down quickly.

A/N: I'm terribly sorry for this cringy chapter that took insanely long to upload. I just haven't been in the mood for writing lately. I hope the next update will be better. x