A Healed Heart. (A mans love book 1)

Old sins cast long shadows (cont.)

Chapter 15

I entered the apartment, and I heard screaming coming from Ryan's room. I heard someone fighting and I heard things crashing around. I picked up the knife from the kitchen table and began walking slowly towards Ryan's room. I pushed open the door, and I saw Ryan's mom, on top of Ryan, attempting to strangle him. Ryan saw me, and his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Ryan!" I shouted as I ran towards his mother with the knife, and slashed at her back. She howled in pain and spun around to see who her attacker was. She smirked, and I saw the bottle of alcohol right beside Ryan's bed. "Well, well." She sneered. "I thought I told you to stay away from my husband." I was too much in the heat of the moment to really register that she had just referred to her son as her husband. "Ryan!" I shouted again. "Anthony, just go, she'll kill you." Ryan pleaded. "No" I said indefinitely. As I charged at her, determined to drive the knife into her throat. Ryan's mom shot up before I got close and charged towards me with her fists waving madly. I dodged several blows and swung the knife in an attempt to fend her off. One of the swings found their target, and I slashed her knuckles to the bone. She howled in pain before tackling me to the floor, causing me to lose my grip on the knife. It clattered to the floor as she tried to punch me in the face, and I caught her fist before throwing it into the floor and elbowing her in the face. I kneed her in the stomach and she jumped off of me before I flew up and tried to run to the knife. I suddenly heard a loud bang before I felt a sword slash its way into my shoulder. I crumpled to the floor, clutching my shoulder in agony. It was then that I had realized that I had been shot. I looked at my hand and saw it covered in blood. I thought I had saw something dark and sinister tucked into her waistband when I first came into the room. My shoulder had taken the full force of the impact, and now it was oozing blood. I felt my life leaving me, and I saw Ryan's mom standing above me, who was brandishing a large gun. She held it at my head to finish the job, and just before I died, I saw Ryan smash a metal pole against her head.................

I saw Zach in my dreams. It was replaying everything that had happened to us over the course of our eighth grade year. I saw me first meeting him, and that unforgettable smile he flashed that caused my first self-fueled orgasm that same night while imagining him make love to me. I then saw him and I sharing our first kiss almost two weeks after we met, underneath the bleachers. He reached to pull off my shirt, but then two football players started heading toward the bleachers and we had to leave or risk getting caught. We finished the kiss behind the school building, and we had our first foreplay moment. I then saw that things started to slip between us. Sometime after that, Zach started acting really weird towards me. I began to feel as though I was losing him, so I decided to go all in and take my chances with him. So I took him aside and asked him to be my boyfriend. He told me he wasn't sure what to say, and that he would think about it. It seemed like such a good answer at the time because I had been rejected so much that the maybe felt like a yes. I was so happy, but I had let my hopes get too high. A few days after that, I messaged Zach to see where we stood, but it was that day that he told me that he was dating a girl that he loved very much, and that he didn't want to be with me, ever. I was devastated, and I was confused as well. Soon after that, when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they got worse. It was then that I realized that I had been outed by Zach, who had labeled me as a faggot, and a queer. My life at school had become a living hell, and it was then that I began to explore suicide possibilities. But, by the time I had become numb to it all, school was over, and Zach was out of my life. Or so I thought, until I saw him at the hospital. I heard voices, a lot of voices, I heard Ryan's; my own; my father's; my mother's and finally, I woke up.......

My eyes shot open and I saw I was in a hospital room. It was deathly quiet, and it freaked me out. I heard no one. I looked around the room, and I saw medical instruments, food pipes, bedpans, and a hamper for soiled sheets and linen. It was then that I realized that I had been in a coma. I looked around and pressed the button on the side of the bed. I wasn't sure how long it would take for help to get here, so I just laid back and waited patiently, before I drifted off to sleep.......

I woke up to see two nurses surrounding me, checking my diagnostic readouts, and I turned my head to face them. One of them looked at me, and smiled. I didn't care about anything, I just wanted to see Ryan. "Ryan." I mumbled. "Who?" The nurse asked as she leaned down to hear me better. "Ryan......Freedle." I murmured before I began to slip into unconsciousness. Before I passed out, I mumbled; "I need Ryan."

I woke up to see Zach's beautiful face hovering above me. I was startled to see him, but it was good to see him again, without tears in his eyes. He had a look of concern on his beautiful face. When I sat up, he backed up. He sat down in the hospital chair. "How do you feel?" He asked. "I'm fine." I said. He sighed with relief before he turned to face the television which was playing the same bad sitcom that was playing in Zach's hospital room. "Wow." Zach said. "I guess all hospitals are the same when it comes to television." "Yeah," I said. "I guess so." At the moment Ryan walked in a saw me. He practically ran towards me and threw his arms around me. "My baby." He whispered through his tears. "My sweet baby. My love." Zach looked at us with pure envy. I wanted to push Ryan away because I knew how Zach got, but I couldn't because I wanted to hold him, I wanted to touch him. I've felt so starved for affection, and now that I was being touched by someone who I wanted to touch me, I felt so complete. But I knew Zach wanted to be the one to touch me. And I knew that he couldn't stand that sight of Ryan and I. He excused himself and left the room. When we parted, Ryan looked at me. "Why is he here?" He asked. "He must've heard." I said, acting like I was completely unaware. Ryan smiled, and he kissed me. "Ryan, we need to talk." I said, replacing the smile in my face with one of seriousness. "What's wrong?" He asked. "You have to do something about your mother." I said. "What do you mean?" Ryan asked. "I-I can't be with you if she's in the picture." I said. "But, she's just a drinker, and she gets drunk sometimes, so what?" "She shot me Ryan!" I exclaimed. "I can't be with you if she's around because now I fear for my life." Ryan just sat there, speechless, and I continued. "Her presence endangers your life, my life, and her own life." "Ryan raised his hand to silence me. "Look Anthony." He said. "My father left my life, and my mother is the only family that I have now." "No matter how much I hate her, and believe me, I do hate her, she is the only family I have left. So I have to put up with her, or I'll have no one." I took his hand. "That's not true." I said. Ryan looked at me, and leaned forward to kiss me, and I moved away. I wanted to be with Ryan, but if his mother continued to attack me, then there was nothing I could do. But if I went to Zach, then I would be putting my heart in harm's way. Which is something I don't want to go through ever again. I want to help Zach, and he needs to see justice be delivered for that animal who raped him. But honestly, my commitment was with Ryan, I loved him, and I want to stay with him, so I want to ask for his permission before I go to help one of my exes.