"If he says he's not married. Then, he's not married." I blinked twice, my emotions starting to fade.
Papa sighed exasperatedly. Frustrated and very much furious. Galit na galit ang aking ama.
"You're doing this again, Chrissy. This is happening all over again. You're falling again. And you'll get hurt. You will surely lose yourself again. And I will lose my child again," he added in a much softer and tender voice.
"You won't lose me..."
"Sasaktan ka ng lalaking iyan at sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi ka na makakaahong muli! Sakit ang ibibigay sa iyo ng lalaking iyon! At wala kang magagawa kung hindi ang masaktan lang!"
No.
No, I won't get hurt. That - I can promise you, my Papa. This time, I have my stand. I hold the reigns. I wear the crown. Solid, was my ground. Alam ko kung kailan kakapit at kung kailan bibitaw kaya wala kang dapat ipag-alala, Papa.
I can do this. You'll see.
Imbes na sumagot ay nanatili akong tahimik. Plakado ang mga sagot ko sa kaniyang mga tanong tungkol sa maselang paksa na iyon. Sumuko na rin si Papa kalaunan at namaalam para sa importanteng meeting.
Parang may tumarak na patalim sa aking dibdib at tuwing inaalala ko ang mga sinabi ni Papa ay dumidiin iyon doon.
He keeps reminding me that I'm against the laws of the saints for what I'm doing. Says, I'm breaking the rules of marriage. Says, Ram's married. Sinigurado niyang hindi siya nagkulang ng paratang sa akin, and I worshiped him for that. But...
Like I said, everything will always be about Ram. Yes, I'm attracted but that wasn't enough. Ram was a passionate man. I could look at him all day when he's loving me.
But that could deliver the most destructive waves. The strongest storms and thunder. At ang ganoong pagmamahal ay pinapatay.
I was left alone with my demonic thoughts.
What I was doing was considered evil, anyway. I was to be judged committing one of the seven deadliest sins, anyway. Thinking inhumanely devilish would not be a problem.
Nakapagpasya na akong pauunlakan ko ang paanyaya ni Yllana. Naka book na ako ng ticket patungong Manila.
Nang makapananghali na ay nakita ko ang sarili na nakaluhod sa harapan ng bundok ng mga damit. Kanina ko pa nasuri ang lahat ng mga iyan kung babagay bang ilabas.
There were almost transparent cover ups, short sundresses, and two maxi dresses both with low cut. And of course, bikinis.
Nakausap ko na si Yllana kanina bago bumili ng ticket. According to her, the Alejandres had already arrived at the resorts and casino yesterday. Yllana mentioned na limang araw daw doon kaya pwede pa akong humabol. Eentrada ako sa gitna ng kanilang kasiyahan.
I hope my Mama remembers me still...
I was examining a dark magenta bikini when my phone rang. Nabasa ko kaagad ang pangalan ni Ram doon na gustong makipag FaceTime nanaman. I looked back at the skimpy dresses and underwear near me, and I jumped to a more secluded corner.
"Hi!" Sinagot ko ang tawag at kumaway.
"Chrissy..." he chuckled, his voice husky. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. You?" Patingin-tingin ako sa aking mga damit na dadalhin.
"Still sleepy but I can manage. A good coffee will do..." tango nito sa akin at prenteng sumandal sa kaniyang swivel chair.
Nanuri ang kaniyang dumidilim na mga mata, sobrang nagiging mapagbigay ng atensyon sa aking mukha at sa mga parte kong nakikita sa camera.
Ang Pang-Limampu't Isa
Magsimula sa umpisa
