Losing Your Memory

24. Absent Mind

Bellamy's POV:

I follow Abby away from Clarke, feeling nausous.

What does she want? Is she going to tell me to stay away from Clarke? Oh shit.

We come to a stop and i force myself to look completely chilled.

Abby sighs and looks weary all of a sudden. "Look i dont know if i trust you...but it is clear to me that everyone here does...especially my daughter! I... I am not here to lecture you, actually this is about Clarke and her...her memory."

I take in a sharp breath as Abby pauses, what's this all about? I dont dare speak.

"She suffered a horrific fall from what i hear and it was brought to my attention earlier that you saved her...i want to apologise for the other night but anyway...the point is, a severe injury to the head, that couldnt have been dealt with properly...may lead to further issues than a slight loss of memory for a short period...i just want you to watch her for me, when i cannot..." Abby finishes, looking worried.

"Are you saying her brain is permanently damaged? What will happen?" I fail to hide the panic from my voice, now hot and nervous!

"Look calm down, i see you care about her and i am willing to trust you! Im not saying anything awful will happen just...we need to be vigilant and aware...for her safety" Abby insists and with that, she places her hand on my shoulder, gives it a comforting squeeze and walks away solemnly.

I slowly walk back to where Clarke is now sat on the bank and i look up, startled when she says "i remember her you know..."

I am silent. I expected a "what did my mum want?" Or something but she has a vacant look in her eyes and seems not to be aware that her mother just spoke to me privately.

I manage to stammer "who?" Feeling completely overwhelmed and baffled.

"Charlotte...im sorry i havent mentioned her until now...she has been on my mind since i got my memories back- yeesh, that feels like a lifetime ago now- anyway...i remember everything. I watched her jump, she hated it here! She came to me in the nights in tears, her head full of nightmares about what could be in the woods. She said the air caused frequent asthma attacks...we cared for her, you and I. She was so young...twelve...and no one else looked out for her. That night she ran away and just you and I went to find her, we sat down and made a campfire to calm her down...just the three of us." Clarke stops, her head now so low i fear she is crying...i cannot see. "Then came that night i couldnt find her! I ran to you, and your eyes filled with fear! We were like parents looking for a lost child...we found her at the top of the cliff...that god damn cliff and i didn't...i couldn't-"

"Clarke..." i say softly, sat by herside now, and i slide my hand over hers. She looks up at me, her eyes full of tears. "We couldnt save her...do you remember what she said before she...?"

"Oh god...yes of course i do! Her words haunt me to this day - "I cant do it anymore...you can't help me, I'm sorry..."

I suddenly feel awkward, i hadn't had the courage to bring up Charlotte before either...she died despite all we did to help. I wish that Clarke didnt have to remember that...oh god, memories! I cant say anything to her, i will just watch and look out for her.

"Clarke...what i said last night! I meant it! I do love you, heck, i think i always have..." I breathe, laughing softly and Clarke smiles weakly.

"Bellamy Blake...i dont know quite what you are doing to me" she says softly, a caring yet quizzical look in her eye as she watches me intently. She then smiles as though content and buries her head in my shoulder. I just about hear her muffled words of "Bellamy Blake...who'd have thought?"

And i smile to myself! Despite everything, i smile because i have the most precious thing in my arms right at this very moment! I cannot let anything happen to her.

However, the next few weeks came with troubling events.

One night Clarke was found outside Jaspers tent. He asked her what she was doing and if she was okay, she had looked at him blankly and said "oh im just going to my tent" then, seemingly lost she looked around. Eventually she just said "goodnight", walked back to her tent and went inside as if nothing happened.

Then came another incident a couple days later. Clarke was stopped by Monty just before she ate a poisonous berry at the sorting station where collected food is sorted into "safe and possibly dangerous" piles. She simply put it down and laughed like it was nothing, it had seemed like nothing at the time and she had shrugged it off by saying "god i must be hungrier than i thought! Better go grab something proper to eat!" And with that she had left.

Then followed several accounts where I found her simply stood in place, staring, or aimlessly wondering around, without the usual importance of her stride! The Clarke i know always walks with meaning but she had started to almost faze in and out of reality. When asked what she was doing her answer was "oh hey didnt see you! Just taking a stroll I guess".

The first few times i caught her doing this, she would start up a conversation, it seemed normal, perhaps she had just been deep in thought. But as time passed she seemed to appear more confused each time she was approached.

Thats when i began to worry - when i asked what she was doing alone in the dark by the garden patch and she would look up at me as if she was seeing me for the first time, that look scared me.

So after a considerable amount of time, watching her and growing ever more concerned. I decide to inform her mum of what i have seen and heard from other campers, because something just...isnt right...

AN: So camp is in full swing! Clarke, Bellamy and Charlotte were like a little family and now Clarke might be in trouble? Or is it just Bellamy developing a type of paranoia?
What do you think?

Thanks for reading bye ♡